Update

Hi everyone. I know, I know. Who wants to spank me first? I've been a bad blogging friend. In my defense, I've had a lot going on and I'm still kind of drowning in it. But now I have uber time to devote to the computer now that I'm laid up in bed for awhile.

So heres the dilly-yo ...

I just had surgery on Monday. I had a huge tumor on my right ovary so they had to go in there and yank out the whole thing, ovary and all. I'm recovering nicely, I haven't hit the Lortab once (I'm saving it for a special occasion) and I'm moving around pretty well.

I'm graduating May 30th! Yay. I will be Dr. Cinn soon. Bahahaha Does that scare anyone else like it scares me? When I signed my contract I was reading this little blurb where it said the first intern to see a patient "will become their doctor." I almost passed out. I will be someone's doctor. Not like, in the hospital where I have other doctors overseeing me, but in clinic. When they're sick, they will ask to see "Dr. Cinn." I almost hyperventilated.

The state of TX has decided to flag my PIT application. If you're a doctor, you need a license to practice, but if you're a resident, you get a Physician In Training permit. For some reason, my application has been flagged and now they have to do a formal review which worries me that it won't happen in time for me to start in June, which means my contract for next year may be cancelled! I'm really freaking out, but all I can do is sit tight and wait to see what they say.

My BF and I are still doing well. He does shit to annoy me but, well, everyone does. :) We're contemplating moving in together when I move to Conroe. I already have my apartment lined up and everything. I'm so excited!

xoxo/cinn

Bad, Bad Blogger

I've been a bad, bad blogger. I keep going MIA. When things get hectic here, the first thing to go is my blogging. It's really sad. I should use this as more of an outlet, but it becomes more of a chore. And I lose tough with all my blogging buddies which makes me sad.

I've had a lot going on here. I'm going to try to make this a quick update, but there is a lot to say, so I'll try to be brief. Not boxer. Get is? Briefs, boxers. Eh, whatever. Keep reading.

My Residency List is all done. It was certified and turned in last Wednesday which was the deadline. I ranked the tough, challenging, but reputable JPS/Ft. Worth first. Lincoln is second, and Conroe is 3rd. I now wait until Monday, March 14th to see if I matched. I don't get to know where, just if I did. If I don't, then I scramble the next day. Scrambling is where you get a list of all the people who didn't match and a list of places that didn't get filled, and basically you scramble to get a spot. Hopefully in the residency of your choice, but if it's highly competitive, then you take what you can get. I'm not really worried about that in Family Medicine. There are more spots open than there are applicants, so I'm sure I'll get one of my top 3 spots. Thursday we actually have the ceremony where we get the envelope of hope/dread and find out where we matched. Blah. I hate ceremonies. If you're curious how the match algorithm works, because I still don't really understand it, you can check out how the national resident matching program explains it ... http://www.nrmp.org/res_match/about_res/algorithms.html

On a personal note, I'm dating someone. He's actually someone who does construction and fixes things at the frat. In short, he's sweet, funny, nice, adores me, pampers me, all the things you could ask for in a man. He's also 40 and from Trinidad. I haven't told my parents how old he is yet. It's pretty serious though, for only being a little more than 2 months of dating. He plans on moving with me when I start residency. He has an ex wife and a little girl back in Trinidad (they moved back when he and she broke up) but he talks to her often and is hoping to go back and see her soon.

On a more personal note, I found out that I have an ovarian mass. Possibly a dermoid, which grosses me out, because those are the tumors that are hair and teeth and stuff. Gag me. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I have to have surgery to have it removed. Laparoscopic isn't an option because of the size, and they are going to have to take out the entire ovary. The whole ovary yanking out procedure will happen in May since I have 2 more rotations that don't allow me to be bed ridden for weeks.

On an even more personal note, I also found out I have high risk HPV, the kind that causes cervical cancer. Apparently my I wasn't so careful in my "Year of Love." I had a well woman exam with the ob-gyn who will be doing the surgery and I had ASCUS (Atypical Squamous Cells of Unknown Significance). Basically, it ain't normal but they don't know what it means. So I had to go back for a culposcopy. In normal talk, they put acetic acid (vinegar) on your cervix (yowza!) and look through a special microscope and biopsy any areas that look abnormal (they turn pretty colors under the light). She took two biopsies. Hurt like a bitch too. I thought I was going to die. She was like, "It'll feel like a menstrual cramp." First one, maybe. Like the kind that hit you so hard inside that you double over and want to vomit. The second one I swear i felt all the way up to my teeth. I forgot to breathe.

I am awaiting the results of the biopsy today. I'm really worried because if it's serious and I have to have an intervention, the terms "burned" and "cold knife" have been tossed around. They make me want to throw up since the biopsy itself almost made me "pass out." I hate being a girl sometimes.

Anyway, that's it for me. I wish I had my laptop here (I'm back at my parents place) so I could check everyone's blogs. I may have to come back and try to do it manually instead of having google make it easier for me, but my neck has been killing me and my parent's computer is less than ideal for my neck.

Hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I'll be checking up on everyone soon.

XOXO
Cinn

P.S. UPDATE: Biopsy is "perfectly normal." Wahoo! No hot or cold anything! Yay. It's 2:00. I'm having some wine.

Heh, Oops.

So I realize how completely and utterly insane I must have seemed that last post, especially considering the subject matter. A friend wouldn't come over? Annnnnnd what? Haha I think my biggest problem with last night was the fact that she lied. I have a HUGE problem with people who lie.

I'm OK with catering to her homebody-ness 99% of the time, but I think I teeter on the edge of being mad, and then something happens (like last night and her lame excuse) and it all comes tumbling down. I feel like Humpty Dumpty. Or maybe I'm just cracked...

P.S. Here goes some self-analysis: I learned recently from my Psychiatry in Cinema class (yes, this is a class I am taking for medical school) that people tend to have no patience for characteristics in others that they have trouble with in themselves. I'm not sure that made sense, but maybe I'm angry with her about this when I actually do it to others. I'm going to have to start thinking about things that I do or say to people, and see if I don't take responsibility or act flakey to others... Maybe all this frustration is stemming from a place of self-hatred of that same characteristic. Deep, eh?

O.M.F.G.

WARNING: I am about to rant. Full on. No holds barred. Rant. About. To. Commence.

3.

2.

1.

OK, so wtf is up with people not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions? I HATE when people make a decision or do something that is so blatantly obvious that they are doing it for reasons other than they are giving.

Case In Point: Tonight, my friend (uuuuuhhhh, I haven't nicknamed her yet, crap, gimme a sec to think of one) The Alcoholic (heh) and I were supposed to get together. We have this thing we do, where we get tons of junk food, tons of alcohol, and watch scary movies. She loves them, I like tem but they scare the ever lovin' shit outta me, so I must watch them with massive amounts of liquor in order to not sit in my own excrement during the show. It's fun, we usually make fun of the poor attempts at horror, and we have a good laugh, a couple drinks, and then we call it a night. I know, kinda lame for party goers, but for us, it's a good night. So since I've been back at my parent's place, we've been hanging out a lot these past few months as I've been in town. It's been fine, but I'm ALWAYS going into town to go to her place to hang out. No matter what we do, I go to her. At first when I was doing Cardiology, it was fine, as I was sorta able to swing by her place without being toooooooo out of my way coming home, and I was already in town, so what the hell. But now that I've been driving back and forth to school and here, driving 30 minutes to her place is kind of a pain in the ass. (For the record, I've become sort of disillusioned with driving recently. I used to love to drive, but now that I walk everywhere, or used to while I was at school, I would put 30 miles on my car PER MONTH and that was just to drive to the store once and go out to eat every now and again. So even though 30 minutes of driving to and fro doesn't seem like much to some, it's a helluva lot to me. And let's not even get into how big my gas bill is ...) Back to reality, I've invited her over to my place like, every. other. day. and she has come out once. Generally she just flakes out, says "Oh yeah, that sounds good, I'll do that" and then she calls back like "Oh, my mom just called and she wants me to go with her (fill in a place)" (yet somehow her mom never calls when we're at her place. Like, ever.) or she just won't call me back and all and leave me hanging. So tonight we were supposed to hang out, and I have to drive back to school tomorrow, and then back again here on Friday, to drive back to school on Sunday, to drive back again here Monday, to drive back there again on Thursday, to drive back here again Friday. I have LOTS of driving to do. I'm sick and tired of freaking driving. So I invited her to come out here. What does she say? Not no, not hell no, not yeah right, but "Yeah, that sounds good." So F.I.V.E. hours later, she texts and says, "Oh, I started drinking already so I shouldn't drive. Can't come out. Wanna come out here?"

O.M.F.G.

I wanted to scream in her face until she could feel my spit hitting her cheeks. Gross, I know, but I'm going for some imagery here. Obviously she didn't want to come out in the first place, but how hard is it to say "Hey, I don't really wanna go out there, you can come out here if you want or we can meet up another time" or "Hey I'm too much of a lazy ass to drive to your place even though you drive out here every day" or "Hey my man and I are going to bang all night, sorry" or "I am tired of looking at your face, stop calling me" but NOOOOOOOO she pulls out this lame fucking excuse. WTF would you start drinking, especially if you know that you have plans ... Just take some fucking ownership for the fact that you aren't coming out because YOU. DON'T. WANT. TO. How hard is that to say? People, say it with me. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. Anyone die? Anyone? Anyone get mauled by a truck full of canaries and condoms? No. I didn't think so. Why is it so hard to just say the truth. Don't make up some bullshit or hide behind some weak excuse. (I am not condoning driving under the influence, I'm merely stating that you metabolize one drink per hour and she could have come out later or not have had so much to drink that she couldn't come over.) It makes no sense. Maybe I just plan better than most people. Maybe when I have plans I actually follow through. Maybe I'm the only person in the whole fucking world that realizes that if I have to go somewhere, I shouldn't start drinking, or if I do drink, don't have enough that I can't drive. Maybe I'm just fucking brilliant and everyone else is completely and totally stupid. Maybe I should go into making drool rags for everyone who doesn't have the common sense to swallow when their saliva is dripping of their chins. I would be a fucking billionaire. Fuck.

Ok, crazy Cinn is gone. But honestly, I think this bugs me the most because I figured she wasn't coming over, but she waited too damn long that I don't want to go out there. We always start kinda early because once we watch 2 or 3 movies and have been drinking, it's like 3am and I'm tired and my buzz is wearing off so I have a massive headache. I've already fucked up my car once by hitting a cinder block in the middle of the road (that was a $1400 trip).

I did ask her why she started drinking if she was planning on coming over and she was like, "Oh, I don't know, I just did. You can come over here if you want. I'll be here all night." Gee, thanks. Let me jump on that train.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Day! I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday with family and friends, surrounded by loved ones. Here is a bit of information for your brains, thanks to Wikipedia...

Thanksgiving, also known as Thanksgiving Day, is a harvest festival. Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general. It is primarily a North American holiday which has generally become a national secular holiday with religious origins.
The dates and whereabouts of the first Thanksgiving celebration are a topic of modest contention. Though the earliest attested Thanksgiving celebration was on September 8, 1565 in what is now Saint Augustine, Florida[1][2], the traditional "first Thanksgiving" is venerated as having occurred at the site of Plymouth Plantation, in 1621.
Today, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday of October in Canada and on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States. Thanksgiving dinner is held on this day, usually as a gathering of family members.

XOXO
Cinn

P.S. I hope everyone eats lots of turkey!!

I'm Baaaaaaaack!

Sorta. I'm so sorry for the long delay, and I appreciate the emails and MySpace messages. I'm sorry I've been away so long. I really am. Things have just been ... nuts.

I'm still on track to graduate in May. Yay! Let's hope I can pull it off. I have taken most of my electives already since School of Medicine (SOM) was pretty much fucked for awhile, so now I have to get my required classes done, which might be hard as we have a large class vying for the same spots all over TX. Hopefully it will all work out, and I have an extra month I want to use as vacation that I can always plug a rotation into if needed.

I've been living with my parents for the past few months since the hurricane. It hasn't been all bad, I've been working a lot and playing with my puppies. Yay!

I got an iPhone. I know. I'm a sheep. But I ADORE it. I'm a texting queen now. You better hope I don't have your cell number or you'll be hearing from me at all hours.

I've been interviewing for Family Medicine spots. I only have one more interview to go, I've already done 6, and the last 3 I'm going to decline. I'm so tired. Thankfully I had more than enough money as the programs pay for dinner, breakfast, lunch, and the hotel. So I bought myself an iPhone.

I've narrowed it down to Lincoln, NE and Ft. Worth, TX. There are some other good programs but these are my favs. Now I just have to decide which one I want to rank #1.

I have a boy living with me. Not like, dating, but as in he needed a place to stay with all the destruction here. Although he walks around in his undies sometimes and he's already made a reference to me masturbating.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving! Food and family! Yay! Hope everyone is going well. I'll try to be more entertaining in my next post. This one was too bland.

XOXO
Cinn

Sadistically ...

I took Step 2 on Monday. I'm not sure how it went actually ... I was exhausted that day, and I kept nodding off during the test. That's never a good sign. By the 6th hour, I was so tired I didn't care and I was rushing through the exam just to end the pain. I guess we'll see how that went.

I've got 4 interviews now. Yay.

I'm doing Cardiology here. I thought it was going to be CCU/ICU but apparently it's real cardiology. I feel like a real doctor. They send me to do consults and I write my note, and there is no going back and checking me. What I say goes. it's crazy.

Yesterday we had clinic. The doctor had a bit of a thick Spanish accent. So when I'd ask him a question he would answer, "Statistically, doctors tend to cath people quickly if they have CAD" or "Statistically, doctors prefer to leave people on this medication for too long" It was soooo funny though because it sounded like "Sadistically, doctors tend to cath people quickly," or "Sadistically, doctors leave patients on this medication." I giggled the entire time.

So far I'm really enjoying my rotation. I hope all is well with everyone. :)

Wish Me Luck

I am taking USMLE Step 2 Clinical Knowledge on Monday. It's EIGHT grueling hours of test taking hell. At least it'll be all over soon. Here's hoping I do well.

I've applied to residency in Family Medicine. I've already gotten THREE interviews (and my application isn't even complete yet)! I'll keep everyone posted on my schedule. I'm so excited. My #1 program (right now) is in Lincoln, Nebraska. I can probably count on 2 or 3 more interviews, and then after that, who knows ...

I'll be checking in on people soon and I'll be back more often now that I'm done with all my 3rd year testing. I'll keep everyone updated on my Hurricane Ike stories ... Speaking of, I got some pictures of where I live, and one of my windows in my living room is blown out. I'm not pretty much certain that all my stuff is ruined. If hurricane force winds were blowing around in my place, along with driving rain, all of my stuff has been thrown around. It's not been sitting for more than a week in hot and humid weather, growing mold. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to throw everything out and rip out the carpet.

I'm thinking about starting a donation fund for me called "Don't let what happened to Tina happen to Cinn!" :)

Take care all. I'll be back soon.

Post-Hurricane Short Note

Hi everyone. For those of you who aren't familiar with where I live, I was right smack where Hurricane Ike hit a few days ago. I'm safe and sound with family back home (and enjoying the comfort that only puppy dogs can give) but I haven't heard anything about my place or the surrounding area.

Here is a short update from what I know so far ..

UTMB is without power and water. They are on emergency status for an indefinite time frame at this point. Water should be restored in 2-3 days.

The entire island is without power. UTMB Is first priority, and they should get power in 2-4 weeks. The rest of the island will get power after them.

The island is still on mandatory evacuation. No word as to when we'll be let back on the island.

The east end (which is where the hurricane hit hardest and where the frat was located) looks "like a war zone."

Many in Houston are without power and water. FEMA is working to provide food, water, and ice to those in need.

School of Medicine classes have been cancelled for the week. No word as to when we will resume or if we will be relocated.

Please keep evacuees and rescue workers in your thoughts and prayers in this time of need. I am, thankfully, safe with power and water and the support of my family. I am 100% sure we will have flood damage to the bottom floor of the house. I, being on the second floor, am worried about wind damage as the windows were not boarded before we left. I also had a wall ripping open due to rotten wood and a heavy window unit AC that was being held together by spray foam insulation, so I'm worried my place is completely destroyed.

I have also moved up m y Step 2 to take here in Corpus while I have the time to study (as much as I can in this distracting time) and I'm working on my residency application. However, there are pieces missing that only the School of Medicine can put in, so I guess my application will be delayed indefinitely at this point. *sigh*

XOXO
Cinn

Galveston Photos

Hurricane Ike Slideshow

Cozumel, Mexico

I've been a bad, bad girl. (Points to you if you know the full song with those words.) I went on a cruise and forgot to mention it. My bad. I'm mentioning it now though.

I went on a 4 day cruise to Cozumel with a friend of mine. (I really need to go back and look at what I've named people, I've forgotten all my code names.) I had a really good time. Carnival isn't as good as Royal Caribbean, in my opinion, but it was fun nevertheless. It was kind of touch and go with my friend a few times, but all in all, it was relaxing. Lots of sun. I tried evening out my tan lines, but it didn't work very well. I have a wedding I'm supposed to be in on Aug 8, and the dress is strapless. I think I may have to resort to body makeup or fake tanning to even this out. It's ridiculous.

I also came back to some drama at the house. It seems Psycho Girl has made a pass at the cook, and he's now uncomfortable. Hopefully he won't quit over it, although he is genuinely upset. And he's a little ticked at me I didn't warn him more fully. I told him I tried to tell him. When the stuff happened with her a few days before I left, I told him never to mention me or discuss me with her, as it only leads to drama on my end. I also warned him, saying he was playing with fire and he didn't understand what he was getting into by dealing with her. He admitted I was probably right, so I thought he got the message. However, being a boy, and knowing that boys don't listen, he still decided to step into something with her, and, well, realized she's completely psycho. Oh well, his fault for doing it. Although I'm glad to see that someone else has realized how hard she is to deal with.

I'll post more later about stories and such, but alas, there are no pictures. My beautiful digital camera died on me. I thought it charged when hooked up to the computer, but it doesn't, and I was faithful about never leaving it on and that damn battery lasted about 2 years. I ordered a charger and a waterproof bag (to take pics while snorkeling) and they didn't come in until after I had left. But considering it wasn't as fun as my first cruise, I'm ok with no pics. I didn't need proof of eating myself into a diabetic coma every day.