Cinn-fully Delicious

Update

2009-05-08T07:25:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone. I know, I know. Who wants to spank me first? I've been a bad blogging friend. In my defense, I've had a lot going on and I'm still kind of drowning in it. But now I have uber time to devote to the computer now that I'm laid up in bed for awhile.

So heres the dilly-yo ...

I just had surgery on Monday. I had a huge tumor on my right ovary so they had to go in there and yank out the whole thing, ovary and all. I'm recovering nicely, I haven't hit the Lortab once (I'm saving it for a special occasion) and I'm moving around pretty well.

I'm graduating May 30th! Yay. I will be Dr. Cinn soon. Bahahaha Does that scare anyone else like it scares me? When I signed my contract I was reading this little blurb where it said the first intern to see a patient "will become their doctor." I almost passed out. I will be someone's doctor. Not like, in the hospital where I have other doctors overseeing me, but in clinic. When they're sick, they will ask to see "Dr. Cinn." I almost hyperventilated.

The state of TX has decided to flag my PIT application. If you're a doctor, you need a license to practice, but if you're a resident, you get a Physician In Training permit. For some reason, my application has been flagged and now they have to do a formal review which worries me that it won't happen in time for me to start in June, which means my contract for next year may be cancelled! I'm really freaking out, but all I can do is sit tight and wait to see what they say.

My BF and I are still doing well. He does shit to annoy me but, well, everyone does. :) We're contemplating moving in together when I move to Conroe. I already have my apartment lined up and everything. I'm so excited!

xoxo/cinn

Bad, Bad Blogger

2009-03-02T09:32:00.004-06:00

I've been a bad, bad blogger. I keep going MIA. When things get hectic here, the first thing to go is my blogging. It's really sad. I should use this as more of an outlet, but it becomes more of a chore. And I lose tough with all my blogging buddies which makes me sad.

I've had a lot going on here. I'm going to try to make this a quick update, but there is a lot to say, so I'll try to be brief. Not boxer. Get is? Briefs, boxers. Eh, whatever. Keep reading.

My Residency List is all done. It was certified and turned in last Wednesday which was the deadline. I ranked the tough, challenging, but reputable JPS/Ft. Worth first. Lincoln is second, and Conroe is 3rd. I now wait until Monday, March 14th to see if I matched. I don't get to know where, just if I did. If I don't, then I scramble the next day. Scrambling is where you get a list of all the people who didn't match and a list of places that didn't get filled, and basically you scramble to get a spot. Hopefully in the residency of your choice, but if it's highly competitive, then you take what you can get. I'm not really worried about that in Family Medicine. There are more spots open than there are applicants, so I'm sure I'll get one of my top 3 spots. Thursday we actually have the ceremony where we get the envelope of hope/dread and find out where we matched. Blah. I hate ceremonies. If you're curious how the match algorithm works, because I still don't really understand it, you can check out how the national resident matching program explains it ... http://www.nrmp.org/res_match/about_res/algorithms.html

On a personal note, I'm dating someone. He's actually someone who does construction and fixes things at the frat. In short, he's sweet, funny, nice, adores me, pampers me, all the things you could ask for in a man. He's also 40 and from Trinidad. I haven't told my parents how old he is yet. It's pretty serious though, for only being a little more than 2 months of dating. He plans on moving with me when I start residency. He has an ex wife and a little girl back in Trinidad (they moved back when he and she broke up) but he talks to her often and is hoping to go back and see her soon.

On a more personal note, I found out that I have an ovarian mass. Possibly a dermoid, which grosses me out, because those are the tumors that are hair and teeth and stuff. Gag me. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I have to have surgery to have it removed. Laparoscopic isn't an option because of the size, and they are going to have to take out the entire ovary. The whole ovary yanking out procedure will happen in May since I have 2 more rotations that don't allow me to be bed ridden for weeks.

On an even more personal note, I also found out I have high risk HPV, the kind that causes cervical cancer. Apparently my I wasn't so careful in my "Year of Love." I had a well woman exam with the ob-gyn who will be doing the surgery and I had ASCUS (Atypical Squamous Cells of Unknown Significance). Basically, it ain't normal but they don't know what it means. So I had to go back for a culposcopy. In normal talk, they put acetic acid (vinegar) on your cervix (yowza!) and look through a special microscope and biopsy any areas that look abnormal (they turn pretty colors under the light). She took two biopsies. Hurt like a bitch too. I thought I was going to die. She was like, "It'll feel like a menstrual cramp." First one, maybe. Like the kind that hit you so hard inside that you double over and want to vomit. The second one I swear i felt all the way up to my teeth. I forgot to breathe.

I am awaiting the results of the biopsy today. I'm really worried because if it's serious and I have to have an intervention, the terms "burned" and "cold knife" have been tossed around. They make me want to throw up since the biopsy itself almost made me "pass out." I hate being a girl sometimes.

Anyway, that's it for me. I wish I had my laptop here (I'm back at my parents place) so I could check everyone's blogs. I may have to come back and try to do it manually instead of having google make it easier for me, but my neck has been killing me and my parent's computer is less than ideal for my neck.

Hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I'll be checking up on everyone soon.

XOXO
Cinn

P.S. UPDATE: Biopsy is "perfectly normal." Wahoo! No hot or cold anything! Yay. It's 2:00. I'm having some wine.

Heh, Oops.

2008-12-07T10:49:00.002-06:00

So I realize how completely and utterly insane I must have seemed that last post, especially considering the subject matter. A friend wouldn't come over? Annnnnnd what? Haha I think my biggest problem with last night was the fact that she lied. I have a HUGE problem with people who lie.

I'm OK with catering to her homebody-ness 99% of the time, but I think I teeter on the edge of being mad, and then something happens (like last night and her lame excuse) and it all comes tumbling down. I feel like Humpty Dumpty. Or maybe I'm just cracked...

P.S. Here goes some self-analysis: I learned recently from my Psychiatry in Cinema class (yes, this is a class I am taking for medical school) that people tend to have no patience for characteristics in others that they have trouble with in themselves. I'm not sure that made sense, but maybe I'm angry with her about this when I actually do it to others. I'm going to have to start thinking about things that I do or say to people, and see if I don't take responsibility or act flakey to others... Maybe all this frustration is stemming from a place of self-hatred of that same characteristic. Deep, eh?

O.M.F.G.

2008-12-06T21:29:00.002-06:00

WARNING: I am about to rant. Full on. No holds barred. Rant. About. To. Commence.

3.

2.

1.

OK, so wtf is up with people not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions? I HATE when people make a decision or do something that is so blatantly obvious that they are doing it for reasons other than they are giving.

Case In Point: Tonight, my friend (uuuuuhhhh, I haven't nicknamed her yet, crap, gimme a sec to think of one) The Alcoholic (heh) and I were supposed to get together. We have this thing we do, where we get tons of junk food, tons of alcohol, and watch scary movies. She loves them, I like tem but they scare the ever lovin' shit outta me, so I must watch them with massive amounts of liquor in order to not sit in my own excrement during the show. It's fun, we usually make fun of the poor attempts at horror, and we have a good laugh, a couple drinks, and then we call it a night. I know, kinda lame for party goers, but for us, it's a good night. So since I've been back at my parent's place, we've been hanging out a lot these past few months as I've been in town. It's been fine, but I'm ALWAYS going into town to go to her place to hang out. No matter what we do, I go to her. At first when I was doing Cardiology, it was fine, as I was sorta able to swing by her place without being toooooooo out of my way coming home, and I was already in town, so what the hell. But now that I've been driving back and forth to school and here, driving 30 minutes to her place is kind of a pain in the ass. (For the record, I've become sort of disillusioned with driving recently. I used to love to drive, but now that I walk everywhere, or used to while I was at school, I would put 30 miles on my car PER MONTH and that was just to drive to the store once and go out to eat every now and again. So even though 30 minutes of driving to and fro doesn't seem like much to some, it's a helluva lot to me. And let's not even get into how big my gas bill is ...) Back to reality, I've invited her over to my place like, every. other. day. and she has come out once. Generally she just flakes out, says "Oh yeah, that sounds good, I'll do that" and then she calls back like "Oh, my mom just called and she wants me to go with her (fill in a place)" (yet somehow her mom never calls when we're at her place. Like, ever.) or she just won't call me back and all and leave me hanging. So tonight we were supposed to hang out, and I have to drive back to school tomorrow, and then back again here on Friday, to drive back to school on Sunday, to drive back again here Monday, to drive back there again on Thursday, to drive back here again Friday. I have LOTS of driving to do. I'm sick and tired of freaking driving. So I invited her to come out here. What does she say? Not no, not hell no, not yeah right, but "Yeah, that sounds good." So F.I.V.E. hours later, she texts and says, "Oh, I started drinking already so I shouldn't drive. Can't come out. Wanna come out here?"

O.M.F.G.

I wanted to scream in her face until she could feel my spit hitting her cheeks. Gross, I know, but I'm going for some imagery here. Obviously she didn't want to come out in the first place, but how hard is it to say "Hey, I don't really wanna go out there, you can come out here if you want or we can meet up another time" or "Hey I'm too much of a lazy ass to drive to your place even though you drive out here every day" or "Hey my man and I are going to bang all night, sorry" or "I am tired of looking at your face, stop calling me" but NOOOOOOOO she pulls out this lame fucking excuse. WTF would you start drinking, especially if you know that you have plans ... Just take some fucking ownership for the fact that you aren't coming out because YOU. DON'T. WANT. TO. How hard is that to say? People, say it with me. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. Anyone die? Anyone? Anyone get mauled by a truck full of canaries and condoms? No. I didn't think so. Why is it so hard to just say the truth. Don't make up some bullshit or hide behind some weak excuse. (I am not condoning driving under the influence, I'm merely stating that you metabolize one drink per hour and she could have come out later or not have had so much to drink that she couldn't come over.) It makes no sense. Maybe I just plan better than most people. Maybe when I have plans I actually follow through. Maybe I'm the only person in the whole fucking world that realizes that if I have to go somewhere, I shouldn't start drinking, or if I do drink, don't have enough that I can't drive. Maybe I'm just fucking brilliant and everyone else is completely and totally stupid. Maybe I should go into making drool rags for everyone who doesn't have the common sense to swallow when their saliva is dripping of their chins. I would be a fucking billionaire. Fuck.

Ok, crazy Cinn is gone. But honestly, I think this bugs me the most because I figured she wasn't coming over, but she waited too damn long that I don't want to go out there. We always start kinda early because once we watch 2 or 3 movies and have been drinking, it's like 3am and I'm tired and my buzz is wearing off so I have a massive headache. I've already fucked up my car once by hitting a cinder block in the middle of the road (that was a $1400 trip).

I did ask her why she started drinking if she was planning on coming over and she was like, "Oh, I don't know, I just did. You can come over here if you want. I'll be here all night." Gee, thanks. Let me jump on that train.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T09:45:00.003-06:00

Happy Turkey Day! I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday with family and friends, surrounded by loved ones. Here is a bit of information for your brains, thanks to Wikipedia...

Thanksgiving, also known as Thanksgiving Day, is a harvest festival. Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general. It is primarily a North American holiday which has generally become a national secular holiday with religious origins.
The dates and whereabouts of the first Thanksgiving celebration are a topic of modest contention. Though the earliest attested Thanksgiving celebration was on September 8, 1565 in what is now Saint Augustine, Florida[1][2], the traditional "first Thanksgiving" is venerated as having occurred at the site of Plymouth Plantation, in 1621.
Today, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday of October in Canada and on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States. Thanksgiving dinner is held on this day, usually as a gathering of family members.

XOXO
Cinn

P.S. I hope everyone eats lots of turkey!!

I'm Baaaaaaaack!

2008-11-25T10:29:00.002-06:00

Sorta. I'm so sorry for the long delay, and I appreciate the emails and MySpace messages. I'm sorry I've been away so long. I really am. Things have just been ... nuts.

I'm still on track to graduate in May. Yay! Let's hope I can pull it off. I have taken most of my electives already since School of Medicine (SOM) was pretty much fucked for awhile, so now I have to get my required classes done, which might be hard as we have a large class vying for the same spots all over TX. Hopefully it will all work out, and I have an extra month I want to use as vacation that I can always plug a rotation into if needed.

I've been living with my parents for the past few months since the hurricane. It hasn't been all bad, I've been working a lot and playing with my puppies. Yay!

I got an iPhone. I know. I'm a sheep. But I ADORE it. I'm a texting queen now. You better hope I don't have your cell number or you'll be hearing from me at all hours.

I've been interviewing for Family Medicine spots. I only have one more interview to go, I've already done 6, and the last 3 I'm going to decline. I'm so tired. Thankfully I had more than enough money as the programs pay for dinner, breakfast, lunch, and the hotel. So I bought myself an iPhone.

I've narrowed it down to Lincoln, NE and Ft. Worth, TX. There are some other good programs but these are my favs. Now I just have to decide which one I want to rank #1.

I have a boy living with me. Not like, dating, but as in he needed a place to stay with all the destruction here. Although he walks around in his undies sometimes and he's already made a reference to me masturbating.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving! Food and family! Yay! Hope everyone is going well. I'll try to be more entertaining in my next post. This one was too bland.

XOXO
Cinn

Sadistically ...

2008-09-24T18:41:00.002-05:00

I took Step 2 on Monday. I'm not sure how it went actually ... I was exhausted that day, and I kept nodding off during the test. That's never a good sign. By the 6th hour, I was so tired I didn't care and I was rushing through the exam just to end the pain. I guess we'll see how that went.

I've got 4 interviews now. Yay.

I'm doing Cardiology here. I thought it was going to be CCU/ICU but apparently it's real cardiology. I feel like a real doctor. They send me to do consults and I write my note, and there is no going back and checking me. What I say goes. it's crazy.

Yesterday we had clinic. The doctor had a bit of a thick Spanish accent. So when I'd ask him a question he would answer, "Statistically, doctors tend to cath people quickly if they have CAD" or "Statistically, doctors prefer to leave people on this medication for too long" It was soooo funny though because it sounded like "Sadistically, doctors tend to cath people quickly," or "Sadistically, doctors leave patients on this medication." I giggled the entire time.

So far I'm really enjoying my rotation. I hope all is well with everyone. :)

Wish Me Luck

2008-09-20T19:58:00.003-05:00

I am taking USMLE Step 2 Clinical Knowledge on Monday. It's EIGHT grueling hours of test taking hell. At least it'll be all over soon. Here's hoping I do well.

I've applied to residency in Family Medicine. I've already gotten THREE interviews (and my application isn't even complete yet)! I'll keep everyone posted on my schedule. I'm so excited. My #1 program (right now) is in Lincoln, Nebraska. I can probably count on 2 or 3 more interviews, and then after that, who knows ...

I'll be checking in on people soon and I'll be back more often now that I'm done with all my 3rd year testing. I'll keep everyone updated on my Hurricane Ike stories ... Speaking of, I got some pictures of where I live, and one of my windows in my living room is blown out. I'm not pretty much certain that all my stuff is ruined. If hurricane force winds were blowing around in my place, along with driving rain, all of my stuff has been thrown around. It's not been sitting for more than a week in hot and humid weather, growing mold. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to throw everything out and rip out the carpet.

I'm thinking about starting a donation fund for me called "Don't let what happened to Tina happen to Cinn!" :)

Take care all. I'll be back soon.

Post-Hurricane Short Note

2008-09-15T08:56:00.004-05:00

Hi everyone. For those of you who aren't familiar with where I live, I was right smack where Hurricane Ike hit a few days ago. I'm safe and sound with family back home (and enjoying the comfort that only puppy dogs can give) but I haven't heard anything about my place or the surrounding area.

Here is a short update from what I know so far ..

UTMB is without power and water. They are on emergency status for an indefinite time frame at this point. Water should be restored in 2-3 days.

The entire island is without power. UTMB Is first priority, and they should get power in 2-4 weeks. The rest of the island will get power after them.

The island is still on mandatory evacuation. No word as to when we'll be let back on the island.

The east end (which is where the hurricane hit hardest and where the frat was located) looks "like a war zone."

Many in Houston are without power and water. FEMA is working to provide food, water, and ice to those in need.

School of Medicine classes have been cancelled for the week. No word as to when we will resume or if we will be relocated.

Please keep evacuees and rescue workers in your thoughts and prayers in this time of need. I am, thankfully, safe with power and water and the support of my family. I am 100% sure we will have flood damage to the bottom floor of the house. I, being on the second floor, am worried about wind damage as the windows were not boarded before we left. I also had a wall ripping open due to rotten wood and a heavy window unit AC that was being held together by spray foam insulation, so I'm worried my place is completely destroyed.

I have also moved up m y Step 2 to take here in Corpus while I have the time to study (as much as I can in this distracting time) and I'm working on my residency application. However, there are pieces missing that only the School of Medicine can put in, so I guess my application will be delayed indefinitely at this point. *sigh*

XOXO
Cinn

Galveston Photos

Hurricane Ike Slideshow

Cozumel, Mexico

2008-07-22T08:43:00.004-05:00

I've been a bad, bad girl. (Points to you if you know the full song with those words.) I went on a cruise and forgot to mention it. My bad. I'm mentioning it now though.

I went on a 4 day cruise to Cozumel with a friend of mine. (I really need to go back and look at what I've named people, I've forgotten all my code names.) I had a really good time. Carnival isn't as good as Royal Caribbean, in my opinion, but it was fun nevertheless. It was kind of touch and go with my friend a few times, but all in all, it was relaxing. Lots of sun. I tried evening out my tan lines, but it didn't work very well. I have a wedding I'm supposed to be in on Aug 8, and the dress is strapless. I think I may have to resort to body makeup or fake tanning to even this out. It's ridiculous.

I also came back to some drama at the house. It seems Psycho Girl has made a pass at the cook, and he's now uncomfortable. Hopefully he won't quit over it, although he is genuinely upset. And he's a little ticked at me I didn't warn him more fully. I told him I tried to tell him. When the stuff happened with her a few days before I left, I told him never to mention me or discuss me with her, as it only leads to drama on my end. I also warned him, saying he was playing with fire and he didn't understand what he was getting into by dealing with her. He admitted I was probably right, so I thought he got the message. However, being a boy, and knowing that boys don't listen, he still decided to step into something with her, and, well, realized she's completely psycho. Oh well, his fault for doing it. Although I'm glad to see that someone else has realized how hard she is to deal with.

I'll post more later about stories and such, but alas, there are no pictures. My beautiful digital camera died on me. I thought it charged when hooked up to the computer, but it doesn't, and I was faithful about never leaving it on and that damn battery lasted about 2 years. I ordered a charger and a waterproof bag (to take pics while snorkeling) and they didn't come in until after I had left. But considering it wasn't as fun as my first cruise, I'm ok with no pics. I didn't need proof of eating myself into a diabetic coma every day.

USMLE 2 CS

2008-07-15T08:53:00.003-05:00

Today I take my USMLE Step 2 CS exam. Step 2 is in two parts - Clinical Knowledge (CK) and Clinical Skills (CS). I was supposed to take my CK on Saturday but I had to move it because of the drama with Psycho Girl. I didn't have my head in the game anymore. They only offer CS in 5 cities around the U.S., one of which is Houston, so it's hard to schedule. I can't reschedule, even in another city, until late October, which is past my school's deadline for taking the CS.

The test is eight hours of patient encounters. Going in, working up their complaints, focused physical, discussing your treatment plan with the patient, then writing up a note. The patients are "standardized patients" which means they're regular people who have memorized a script.

I'm not sure how well prepared I am, considering I haven't seen a patient in over a month. I feel so out of practice, and I didn't buy any prep books, which makes me nervous. I feel I should have done more, but I've heard it's not that hard. However, now I'm worried I slacked off too much.

My test is in Houston today from 3:00PM to 11:00PM. Crazy hours right? If you are reading this, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. This test is over $1000 and I'd hate to have to repeat it and not graduate this year...

Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. I WILL DO WELL. :)

Psycho Girl

2008-07-12T21:14:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if anyone remembers me speaking of a certain incident with someone who broke the key off in my lock and left me frantic messages about how she wasn't sure how I was going to get into my place ... (see here: Going Down The Toilet). I'm renaming this girl Psycho Girl. Absolutely raving lunatic.

I was elected President of the frat, and she Vice President. However, she's driving everyone here bonkers and no one wants to deal with her. Which means, as prezzy, I have to deal with her. And she's driving me mad.

I'll have to find a day when I can sit and rant about what she's been doing, but in the past week, she's accused me of stealing money from the frat, called my apartment a "roach factory" (my window AC unit is too heavy and the support wood has rotted away and it left a gaping hole in my window sill which I found one night after some roaches crawled in, now that she has roaches, it's my fault, and I am now breeding them apparently), she's called me incompetent, told others I have a mental disorder, and I should be voted out of office.

Here is her latest antic...

Cinn Who?

2008-07-09T13:52:00.002-05:00

I'm not even sure if anyone comes back to check on me anymore, but I am still alive. Barely. Here are a few updates from me...

1. I've decided to go into psychiatry. I will most likely be staying in Galveston.

2. I was going to take Step 2 on Saturday (7/12) but shit has hit the fan here at the frat and I have pushed it back to 8/23. Hopefully I'll be ready by then.

3. Psycho Girl who lives here at the frat is pushing me very close to stepping down as President and moving out.

4. I've gotten very into Regina Spektor and Kate Voegele.

5. I miss my blogging buddies. AND I hope to be doing some traveling with interviews in the next few months, so if I'm in your neighborhood I might be offering drinks while I'm in town! :)

I hope everyone is well and I'll be snooping around everyone's sights to say hi in the next few days.

Forgive Me? (long read)

2008-04-19T07:27:00.003-05:00

My life has been extremely crazy lately. I wish I had a better excuse, because lately I've been extremely sick (104F fever on Tuesday) so I've been sitting on my ass recently not doing anything but staring at the wall. I've just been so out of it recently.

So these boys that are helping me pass the time. They're just, I dunno, boys. Some guys that I've met that I'm having a casual fling with. I lost one yesterday. Apparently an ex g/f is trying to get back into his good graces, and I told him I'm not looking to mess up a real relationship for him, nor am I looking for any kind of drama, so I told him to take his time, get everything in that area straight, and let me know the verdict when he makes one. I'm not sure I'll be talking to him again. So, as of now, I only have 2, which is down from about 5 or 6 that I had at one point.

I think my break up with EX (his new nickname) has turned me into a slut. I think I was going through a really bad period where I was not so much ok with the breakup and I needed some male attention to prove that I was worth it. Towards the end, he was just making it seem like everything about me wasn't worth it and he was no longer making an effort. I just needed to know I wasn't trash that can be tossed aside when you're tired of me.

Surprisingly, these guys have been amazing in that department. I actually feel like I'm worth something. Sometimes I wish I had more than just a casual thing, but other than those few moments I wish I had a guy to curl up next to, I'm pretty good with the whole situation. I get what I want when I want it, I'm getting some male attention on the side (calling, chatting, etc), and I don't have the drama of a relationship and I'm protected from getting burned like I did before. I make it very clear that I'm not interested in dating; I will be moving in about a year and I'm not going to bother with trying to start something just to have it blow up in my face again. I'm not doing it.

I've only had one guy who had real issues with that and wanted to date me. He kept going on and on and on about how I was the one for him, etc. Then out of nowhere, he tells me it's not going to work (yeah, no shit, haven't I been saying that this entire time) and then he went psycho on me. He was sending me text messages that night giving me all these reasons why he can't date me, which I was really not interested it, and glad they didn't hurt me, but not surprising since I really wasn't interested in him beyond friendship. Then after SIX texts, he asks "Why am I so afraid to fall in love?" WTF? Are you serious? What is wrong with you?!? So I ignored him and went to bed. The next day he sent me an email of a girl in the midst of sexual acts and said, "This is a girl I met online, what do you think?" I'm sorry, what do I think? What does it matter? So I told him, "She's cute, you should fuck her." (Sorry about the language, I've been swearing more lately.) Then I proceeded to tell him to leave me alone because he is way too much drama, and that is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Well, that blew up in my face. He started calling and texting and emailing at least 5 times a day vacillating between being nice and wanting to get together and profusely apologizing to yelling at me for being a bitch for saying he was drama and he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I was losing out. I never answered him back, and finally after about 2 weeks, he send a message saying "your white trash for fucking n****rs." I'm sure you know the word he used, I personally hate that word and it bothers me to even use it censored. He was quiet for another 2 weeks, and then he sent me a current pic of him (looking like a serial killer, I might add, and then he said something to the effect of "i thought you were the one but you threw me aside. i thought it could be forever but you never gave me a chance ur loss good luck" I haven't heard from him since, so I'm hoping I won't ever again. Damn psycho.

As for the non-boy aspect of my life, I'm in ob-gyn right now. It's only 6 weeks, thankfully, so I'm halfway through it, but I was really sick this week, and I've missed more than 3 days, which means I've officially failed. I have to make up the absences before the end so I can pass. I'm fine with that, but I'm sure that means this week when I'm working nights (ie 5pm-10pm, is that not retarded?). The only good thing about this rotation is it's separated into weeks, which sucks because you never really get a sense of what you're doing, but it's good in that if it sucks, it's only a week. So far, I've completed Reproductive Endocrinology & Infertility, Ambulatory/Outpatient ob/gyn clinic, Labor & Delivery Days (this is the week I missed so I'll be making it up). Today I start L&D nights, then I have Gynecology-Oncology, and regular gynecology. I was supposed to have delivered a baby this week, but since I was sick, I haven't. I'm not really looking forward to it having assisted in a few by this point, and I'm seriously traumatized by what happens on this side of the curtain. I'm not sure I can ever have a kid now knowing what people will be seeing coming out of my vagina. *shivers*

I did freak out a friend of mine after I started ob-gyn. I told her "You know, it's really disconcerting to realize at the end of the day, my hand smells like vagina, and NOT my own." She was seriously grossed out. I even chased her with my hand ... I know, I shouldn't terrorize people, but it's so fun.

My mom and aunt came in 2 weekends ago, and we had a blast. Things with the frat house are drama as usual. Basically, I got the cook to go on a vacation and brought in another young guy to cook for us, and we've been eating sooo much better. For example. Previous cook sample meals: frozen taquitos, beans, rice; frozen lasagna, iceberg bagged salad; make-your-own nachos, rice. New cook sample meals: thai lettuce wraps; moussaka, greek salad, pita wedges; hand made chicken parmesan, fresh romaine salad with olives, tomatoes, carrots, broccoli, rolls. Are you seeing the difference? Anyway, people are giving him a seriously hard time and he's feeling unappreciated, and people are bitching about crazy ass shit. So I'm having to play mediator, so every night, up until I got sick, I was spending 2-3 hours with Cookie (heh, get it?) to iron out finances, grocery lists, credit with grocer, etc. Since I've been sick, I've still been doing more than I need to be doing. But I really hope it works because his cooking is amazing. And he's kinda cute. People have been commenting we look like a couple and we should date. Of course, these are from females from my class, and I'm worried I'm giving other people the impression I want to hire him cuz he's my bf, which he is not. So I've tried to limit my time with him.

OK, that was a serious case of verbal diarrhea. I meant to keep it short and sweet and I wrote a novella. I will be popping around other blogs today, so hopefully I'll be saying hi in a day or two!! :)

MIA

2008-03-28T13:13:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I've been MIA for so long. I do apologize. It's been so hectic here, but today was my last day of Internal Medicine. Yay! I took my shelf this morning, so this afternoon I am free to do laundry and clean like a regular person. I start Ob-Gyn on Monday, so that should be ... gross. My mom and aunt are coming in town this weekend, so we're going to have a ball! Alumni Day is tomorrow for my frat also, so that should be fun.

I'm still doing good with the breakup. I've since met a few boys that are keeping me entertained. Life is good. :)

Hello

2008-03-06T20:47:00.001-06:00

I don't know how many of you are American Idol fans, but I'm a new convert. I haven't really watched it before this season, but I am addicted now ...

Anyway this guy David Cook is pretty good, but this song is AMAZING. I love his version. I can't wait to put it on my iPod and listen away ...

I hope you guys enjoy it!

Wild

2008-03-01T12:56:00.004-06:00

Yep. That's my new tattoo. It means 'wild' in Japanese. I hope. I didn't double check it on Wikipedia. For all I know, it means "Dumbass". I got it in the small of my back. Yes, a "tramp stamp." Why have I never heard of this label before? No one mentions it to me until I get one, and then all of a sudden everyone is saying it. Did it just come out? Or was it a big conspiracy?

My friend B and I got it yesterday. I've been thinking about getting one for awhile now, and yesterday we decided to do it. It hurt like a bitch, and I will most likely never get one again, but I'm so glad I did. B and I got the same thing in the same place, hers was for her birthday coming up in a few weeks. AND we got it on Feb 29 so it was something special for leap year!

What do you guys and gals think? Was I crazy to get it? If yes, don't answer. :)

Friends

2008-02-23T08:06:00.002-06:00

Thanks everyone for your support. It's nice to know people are in my corner and worried about me. :) You'd be surprised how little I have contact with people outside the immediate people I'm working with (including fellow third years or frat members) because everyone assumes I'm too busy to talk and don't call because they don't want to bother me, so I get very little outside contact. It might explain my quirky personality, though, it's like having cabin fever for 3 years. :)

My friend came up from back home to hang out this weekend. I'm not sure what we're going to do today, probably be silly tourists and check out historical downtown and all the shops, maybe catch a bite on the Seawall and have some drinks, and then go out tonight.

On the bad side, I think I'm getting sick. Damn flu that's going around, EVERYONE is coming in with it. I thought I was doing well taking vitamins and eating well and getting sleep but yesterday I felt my throat getting sore and today it's full blown. Sigh.

Single

2008-02-20T16:51:00.003-06:00

I'm single now. BF and I broke up last night. Of course, who didn't see that coming from the previous post, right? It's for the best. I'm not going to go into details, which I was going to do, because I'm tired of talking about it. Let's just say that I'm happy with the decision, and I'm surprisingly ok with it. I don't even feel that anything in my life has changed. Maybe it's because I was mostly unhappy with him lately and he lives an hour away, so I don't have things in my life to remind me of him for the most part.

The part that I find so damn shitty is that the reasons he gave me for not being happy in the relationship are the EXACT same reasons I gave him for not wanting to start dating in the first place. He didn't like that I lived an hour away (nothing I can do about that) and that I was so busy (again, nothing I can do about that, other than try to alter my schedule to work 13 days straight and take extra call so I can get a weekend off to see him, which I did, many times). He also said we were in different places in our lives and I would be moving (in a year and a half) and where would we be then? (Again, he knew that going into it, I'm only here for medical school, and residency can take me just about anywhere.) Kind of a slap in the face, huh? Oh well, I gave him fair warning. But it was my fault in the end for letting him talk me into it.

Regardless, I am taking back his Valentine's presents, which he never got since he cancelled on me, and I am going to buy myself an iPod shuffle since they are now $30 cheaper. And I like to buy things. And I like the aqua one, it's cute. And I deserve SOMETHING for Valentine's day, don't I? It's not my fault he's a prick.

I Hate Valentine's Day

2008-02-15T00:09:00.003-06:00

I've decided I have bad luck with V-Day. I have had a string of really bad ones, and they're generally worse when I'm actually dating someone.

I had tried to compromise with BF. He complained about the 2 hour drive from houston to here on a work day, so I said I'd go to him since I have Thursday afternoons off. Then I told him that I didn't need a fancy dinner or presents or flowers or candy, I just wanted to spend time with him. Order some chinese food, watch a bad movie, play his Wii. Whatever, I just wanted to spend some time together.

So this morning, I get a text around 10.

"Let's skip tonight. I've got to work late again, and I'm just not in the mood."

I tried to be a good understanding gf and I responded. "I understand. I hope your day gets better. Happy Valentine's Day."

Guess what I got in response. Nothing. Not a text or email or phone call. I haven't heard from him all day.

What kind of shit is that? I thought I was being nice by not making this out to be a big commercial deal instead of what it theoretically should be and this is what I get in return? Not a damn thing?

Boys are so fucking retarded.

Who's Your Uncle?

2008-02-09T13:18:00.000-06:00

The rules:
1. Put your music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT. (This is in capital letters, so it is very serious.)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Everywhere We Go (Kenny Chesney) Good general answer, I'm so smart
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? 18 Wheeler (Pink) Mad truck comin' through!
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana) I do have a thing for men's cologne...
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? I've Come To Expect It From You (George Strait) Ha! How depressing...
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Everlasting Friend (Blue October) Exacta-mundo.
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? You Shook Me All Night Long (AC/DC) hehe
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? This Is Your Life (Switchfoot) Huh?
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? As Long As You Love Me (Backstreet Boys) Awwww
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Ask The Lonely (The Four Tops) I'm so lonely
10. WHAT IS 2+2? All Good Things (Nelly Furtado) It's all good man, it's all good.
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Whiskey Lullabye (Brad Paisley & Allison Krause) Apparently she's cheating on him and will kill herself only to have him kill himself.
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Somebody's gonna Get That Girl (Restless Heart) I like a girl? She must be totally hot!
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Waiting On The World To Change (John Mayer) Isn't everyone?
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Sie Liebt Dich (Beatles) Oh my ... I don't even know what that means, but I hope it's dirty ;)
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? I Can't Stand The Rain (Tina Turner) I should carry an umbrella next time I see this person
16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller (Skeelo) Like I need to be any taller!
17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? I Wanna Know (Joe) I think I should already know if I'm getting married, wouldn't you say?
18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Walk This Way (Run DMC) Haha follow the dead girl!
19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Shooting Up In Vain (Eagle Eye Cherry) Oh my ...
20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Whisper (Evanescence) Come closer and I'll whisper it in your ear
21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Last Night (The Strokes) No comment
22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Who's Your Uncle (Uncle Kracker) If you say so!

If you play with me (hehe) let me know in the comment so I can come make fun of your answers!

McDonald's

2008-02-05T21:54:00.001-06:00

I decided to give up fast food for Lent. So I had a "last supper" with McD's. Here is a caption from the receipt for your viewing pleasure. See if you can spot the typo. Fuckin' McDonald's. Can't even spell...

Sorry...

2008-02-03T10:31:00.000-06:00

I apologize for my long absence but the hospital has been taking up more time as of late. I'm done with my 4 weeks of cardiology (yay!) and tomorrow I start General Internal Medicine outpatient in a clinic here in town. I don't have to be there until 8a.m., which is a nice change from 6:30a.m. I thought I was going to have weekends off, but I have to work Saturday mornings, but I can deal.

Just wanted to say hi and let everyone know I'm surviving. Barely.

Showing Off On Saturday - 2

2008-01-19T11:56:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a week behind, but I have tried something new two weeks in a row!! So this is a sort of 2-for-1 post.

Week 2 - Put together a piece of furniture. Sort of. It is a little kitchen piece that has some shelves and counter top. For those of you who know about where I live, you know I don't have a kitchen. I have a pseudo-hallway that was originally two closets abutting (tee hee I used a word with butt in it) each other and someone knocked down the wall in between them and made a very small walkway connecting the two rooms. Anyway, I use this little space as a hallway/kitchenette where I have my fridge, microwave, food, etc. but I had nowhere to actually make things, like sandwiches. So I bought this little piece of loveliness to give myself some space to work. It was the first time I actually put something together, mostly by myself. I'm awful at following directions and I always have other people help. The last time I tried to put something together (a futon), this is a blurb of what happened:

"((huff, puff, stand up after having knelt for 10 minutes and all the blood is rushing to my head)) Oh my gosh, now what?" Pick up the instructions. It shows the next step, and the whole entire thing I've put together is upside down. Upside down?!? "I have to turn this thing upside down?!?"

While I'm ranting and raving about how I'm going to turn this stupid 50 pound thing over, pissed I have to do it, just wanting to take it apart and send it back, my friend walks over, takes one look at the sheet, turns it 180 degrees, and looks at me.

"Ooooohhhhhh. My bad." Tee hee.

See, me and directions don't mix. But this time, I took control and I did most of it. And I'm happy. I'm slowly becoming more self sufficient. :)

Week 3 - Used a circular saw. My friend needed help installing some laminate flooring and she was scared to use this huge circular saw, so I offered to do it. It sounded like fun. :) And it was. I feel like building something now. LIke a wooden sculpture, a house, something big and useful. Or small and pretty. I've always been sort of scared of tools, so I was impressed that I actually used one. It made me feel ... I don't know how to explain it, it was kind of an adrenaline rush, but it made me feel like I could do anything if I wanted to. It's silly, I just cut up some wood to use as spaces for the flooring, but I didn't feel like I was scared, or I couldn't do it, or afraid, I just did it. It was a big step for me. Maybe I should buy a saw.

Sorry no pics this time, guys, I'll try to take some later but my phone isn't working correctly and I can't get the pics from my phone to my comp. I'll try to figure something out later.

Have fun everyone!!

Dreams

2008-01-19T10:26:00.001-06:00

This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. This happened this morning. (I color-coded it so you know who is saying what. I'm pink and BF is blue.)

"Sorry I woke you up, babe, but I dreamt about you the entire night. It was so weird."

((grumbles about me waking him up. whiner.)) The entire night? That's a lot of dreaming. What was it about?"

"We were at this get together in a huge apartment I've never been to, and you were upset with me and causing a scene and I kept trying to get you to go with me to another room so we could talk but you refused and you kept saying 'Why won't you answer me? Why won't you do this and that?' I can't remember exactly what you were talking about, but you were seriously upset with me and being really dramatic and you wouldn't go with me outside to talk. You're not upset with me are you? You're not using your superhuman powers to send me subconscious messages while I'm asleep so you can yell at me while I'm dreaming and you get to feel better but I don't get to answer back?"

"No, but that's a really good idea. I'll remember that next time I'm mad at you."

"Damn, I hate when I can't remember dreams. They're so clear and real when you're in them, and later, you're like, what was that? ... Oh, I remember you were mad because you had mumbled some stuff to me and you said" **awkward pause** "I love you and I didn't say it back and you were mad, and I kept telling you that I didn't hear you say it."

"That's one psychologically loaded dream."

"And then ... oh wait, I guess the entire dream wasn't about you, because then I was being chased by assassins and there were people trying to protect me and a lot of blood and killing and fighting and I was running trying to get away."

"We went from a dream completely about me to running from killers?"

"Yeah and then I was at this function I wasn't allowed into and I was slinking around this building trying to figure out how to get in, and there were these really large chocolate brownie desserts outside, like three feet high and shaped like a bell, and I took a bite out of each one to be spiteful."

"This dream is getting really weird."

"No, it gets weirder. Then they announce me as Miss Galveston and I went inside and I was in this huge ball gown with a mouth full of chocolate and I was so worried they'd know I had eaten some of the desserts and they would be mad at me, and then I couldn't get on the stage and the steps were too steep so this one girl bent over so I could step on her back but I couldn't get up still so I was grabbing onto things, sorta like rock climbing trying to get up on stage, and I kept thinking that everyone was watching me doing this. It was so embarrassing."

"You have to stop. I can't hear anymore of this. You have the strangest dreams."

Lying

2008-01-17T19:44:00.000-06:00

I was on call today, which means when all the work is done for the day, I get to sit around and help out the residents for new admissions. Usually I help them by handing them an alcohol pad or standing there giving moral support but this time, I actually got to do something! I was so happy. I almost didn't want to leave the hospital. Sike!

Ok, sike about not wanting to leave, but I was actually getting to work up patients. I only saw three, but that was enough. So here's the deal ... One patient has a history of a stroke and I wrote it down, like a dutiful little medical student. Later, when I had done the history and physical, I went out to present to the resident.

"So, the physical exam on this patient is completely normal."

"Yeah, I'd believe that. I think this admission is bogus. She'll be released tomorrow."

"That's nuts. What a waste of time."

"You mentioned she had a stroke. Did you do a neuro exam on her?"

Awkward pause.

"Um, yeah, of course. It was normal."

"What did you do exactly?"

"Well, I did the muscle tone and strength." Not exactly true. She looked symmetrical and she moved around without problems, so technically she's "within normal limits" for all of it. "And all her cranial nerves are grossly intact." You can tell that just by having a conversation with someone, so technically I checked it.

He looks at me with an eyebrow half cocked. "Ok."

Shit.

Here's the thing: I don't lie. I'm not good at it. I have a hard enough time keeping reality in my head, that I can't keep track of fibs I've told, so I just don't do it. When I do, I have these awful knots in my stomach.

*Cue stomach knots.*

I went to go see another patient, who complained of shoulder pain and numbness and tingling in her hand. So I was a good little medical student, and I did a neuro exam. I came back out to present the case to the resident.

One thing about me is I don't like to be corrected, but I hate to be corrected twice. I can't stand to do things wrong. Call me Type A. But it drives me nuts. So he told me a few things I needed to do, and I did them. And I did the neuro exam.

"((insert neuro exam results here)). See, all you have to do is tell me something I need to do and I do it." I smile proudly. I'm such a good lil med student.

"I thought you said you did the neuro exam on the other patient."

Shit.

Exhausted

2008-01-16T16:49:00.000-06:00

I tried to post yesterday but it at the very last second, my internet crashed. I took that as a sign that I should go to bed at 7:30p.m. Yes I know this is extremely early, but I've been so tired lately, I was glad to crawl into bed. I might do the same thing today. Maybe. I feel like I get nothing done during the day now. I don't watch TV or study or work out or clean. I just go to the hospital, come home, eat, sit for a few minutes getting my stuff ready for the next day and doing my pre-notes, and I go to bed. It's so pathetic.

No fun stories as of yet. Well, a few, but so much happens I forget them by the end of the day. I have seen some scary stuff though - a 55 year old woman who was short of breath and she was in acute heart failure. We also just discharged a 32 year old guy who had a heart attack. I fear I may never eat fat again.

Sorry this is all so boring. I thought life in the hospital would be more interesting than this. Just lots of hard work. And lots of guiacs. I'm tired of sticking my finger up people's behinds. I've done 5 so far and no one else has done any. I wonder why they keep wanting me to do them. I've coined the name "GQ" for myself. It stands for Guiac Queen.

Going Down The Toilet

2008-01-07T21:06:00.000-06:00

For those of you who thought I'd write about my first day of cardiology - you're going to be disappointed. I almost named this "Cardiology, Day 1" and then wrote about something completely different, so at the end of the post I could write "Sike!" Syke? How do you spell that anyway? That's a throwback to the 80's. I haven't used that word in a long time. I feel it should be used more. Sike! Ok, that's out of my system.

So here's the quick rundown on my situation. We are doing construction at the run-down frat house where I live. Yes, I said frat. Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, you're confused for a good reason. It was originally a frat because only men went to med school, but when girls started becoming more common, they made it co-ed. So I'm a girl that lives in a frat. Anyway, not the point.

We're remodeling the kitchen and to re-do the plumbing they turned off the water, which also turned off the water on my wing. No big, right? No, not right. When they turned it back on, a pipe connecting to my toilet started leaking and water was running into the bathroom below mine. Not good. So they turned off the water to my toilet. It was supposed to be fixed before I got back, but of course, it wasn't, so I've been living without a toilet since getting back. Not too big of a deal since I was in Houston a fair amount of time with BF, but still, it's damn inconvenient to not have a toilet readily accessible.

The plumber was supposed to come today to fix it. I don't get very good reception in the hospital, so when I hit a little nook on the 7th floor, I found that I had signal, so I checked my messages. This is what I heard:

"Hi Cinn it's Dr. Upton's office. We mailed your contacts ... " Not important, save it, come back to it.

"Cinn? It's your mom. We got back into town and the puppies ... " Mom telling me she got in ok. Good. Moving right along ...

"Cinn. Um, it's Ana. Hey, so uh, the plumber is here and I was trying to, um, get in your room and the key wouldn't work and, um, the key broke off in your door. Uh, I'm not really sure what to do, but uh, I'm not sure how to get into your room. I don't know if I have a spare key to your, uh, bedroom but if you, if you, if you could just come home that would be great. Thanks. Bye." Breathe. Just breathe. So there's a broken key in the lock. I can't get in. That's effin' brilliant.

"Hey Cinn, it's Ana again. So, I don't know, um, which lock you use on your door, but uh, I put the key in the handle, but um, I think you use this key on your, uh, deadbolt. So, um, I dunno what to do. I can't get into your bedroom. So, uh, call me, k?" Oh dear Lord, this isn't getting better. If she broke the key in the bottom handle, even if I can unlock the deadbolt, I still won't be able to get in. Shoot me now, please.

"Hey Cinn. We used a pair of pliers and got the piece of key out of the handle, and then we used that to open your door. The plumber fixed your potty. Pleaes make a copy of your key as soon as you can. I don't have a spare anymore and that key was old and rotten and muddy (I have no idea hat she said there, but it sounded like muddy) and it needed to be replaced anyway. So, if you can get me a copy of that key ASAP I'd very much like that. Bye!"

I find it peculiar that I had a friend living with me for about three months and she used that key every day and never had a problem. Funny, ain't it?

Resolutions, Revisited

2008-01-06T20:21:00.000-06:00

Your New Year's Resolutions

1) Get a pet rock

2) Eat less brussel sprouts

3) Travel to New Zealand

4) Study rare insects

5) Get in shape with rock climbing

What Should Your New Year's Resoluton Be?

Cardiology

2008-01-06T20:12:00.001-06:00

Bye bye winter vacation. Hello cardiology.

For those of you who know me from 4 weeks ago, you know that my blogging is pretty shotty at best. I tend to disappear for days or weeks at a time. Hell. Medical school takes work, and more often than not, I am studying or sleeping when I'm not in the hospital.

Tomorrow I start Cardiology. We have a brief orientation to Internal Medicine, and then we all branch off into our groups. Internal Med is so huge, we have three whole months of it (way longer than everything else) and it's broken up into month intervals - specialty, consultation, and general Internal Med. I'm starting with specialty. I requested it because the heart is such a huge player in family medicine (which I am planning on going into) and I once wanted to be a cardiologist. My father had a heart attack while I was in high school and ever since then I wanted to be a heart doctor. Now I'm changing my mind.

Just wanted to give the heads up, but I am going to try and make it a point to be on a bit each day, at least to keep up with everyone else. :) Wish me luck! I'm going to need it.

Showing Off On Saturday - 1

2008-01-05T12:07:00.000-06:00

I ran across Kaiseralex's post in which she showed off making felt balls. Sad to say, it didn't work out so well for her. Many a ball were lost or injured in the making of that post.

Aside from her amusing antics, I thought I'd play along. I'm such a follower.

Here is my new thing that I tried this week ...

Ta da!

It's banana bread, people. Work with me here.

I've never made it before, and I promised BF I'd make it for him since he loves the stuff. Since I'm leaving back to my place today, I figured today's the day. It turned out absolutely yummy! I was really surprised. I did my own take on the recipe, so I was worried about it, but it turned out fab in the end. Yeah!

I'll try to keep up with something new a week, and post it on Frid---(wtf?) Saturday's, but I'm not sure how easy it will be with working 12 hour days 6 days a week. Just keeping up with bloggies is work enough for me.

I encourage everyone to join in the fun. Or just come and show your luv and support of my banana-bread-baking-esque endeavors.

Squirrel WWF

2008-01-04T08:39:00.000-06:00

The squirrels here are driving me nuts. And I don't say that to be punny. (That is a BF line, not mine. Funny, ain't he?)

We had a conversation awhile back that the squirrels at his place were driving him nuts. He said he could hear them scratching the walls outside his windows. His building has really deep texturing, so their little squirrel claws can get a nice, good grip, and he's got a nice big tree below his window. He went on to tell me that they get into fights outside his windows and then, there is a noise. And this noise can only be described as "the shriek of squirrel death." The shriek of squirrel death? WTF is that?

Yesterday I was sitting in the living room, innocently watching Super Size Me (I may never eat fast food again) and I heard this strange sound. It wasn't quite a bark, but it wasn't a squawk. Was it a wounded dog? An injured, extremely large bird?

Then I saw it. A small brown blur scurrying up the wall outside the window. Then another. And I actually saw them fighting on his window ledge and then they, in a heated embrace, threw each other off the window sill into the tree below. Then I heard it. The sound that can only be described as the shriek of squirrel death.

Crazy freaking squirrels.

Freaking Cold

2008-01-03T09:33:00.000-06:00

This is South Texas. South Freaking Texas. It hits 32 maybe every few years. During December, you wear capri pants and tank tops. It's just how it is.

When I packed my stuff to be here for a few days, I packed lightly. I didn't bother to check the forecast since I know it's nice and breezy here.

I about shit a brick today when I went outside. I went to the store to pick up a few items I needed to make banana bread for BF. How romantic. Gag me. Anyway, I about died of hypothermia out there. It's 35F outside. It never gets this cold. And of course, I didn't pack for this weather. I didn't even pack a sweatshirt.

Moral Of The Story: The next time it's 35F out and you see a crazy girl wearing a 3/4 length shirt and flip flops, don't think she's batshit insane, just remember me and think, 'Maybe this girl packed wrong and she's unbelievably cold. Maybe I should give her my shoes.'

Resolutions

2008-01-02T10:23:00.000-06:00

I think every year since I started making resolutions, I've resolved to lose weight. It may or may not happen, but I think I'm not going to make that one this year. Talk about a dead horse.

Here is my very own Top 5 List for 2008.

1. Make healthier choices and take better care of myself. Walk instead of drive, veggies instead of carbs, making an effort to "break a sweat every day" (as Matthew McConaughey said so eloquently). Floss more.

2. Make an effort to study more. Now is the time to acquire knowledge to apply to my patients later in my career, and if I'm slacking now, I'm doing a disservice to my future patients.

3. Try to infuse a little more style into my life. Pamper myself a little more. I deserve it.

4. Save money for traveling so I can make the best of what little time I will have off this year.

5. Try not to dwell on the bad stuff or analyze every little thing that happens. This one may not make any sense to a lot of you, but I have this tendency to remember every little bad thing that happens, and forget all the good. Or if something embarrassing happens, I'll keep remembering and reliving it over and over. I still do it to things that happened back in July and August. Drives me insane with guilt and humiliation.

So these are my 5 things that I will be working on this year. Let's hope I get at least one fulfilled. :)

Happy 2008!

2008-01-01T09:38:00.000-06:00

I'm going to start this with a pet peeve. Every time I wrote "Happy" for Happy New Year, I alwaysjust get ONE p from my ring finger. That's it. One. Hapy. And every time I have to go back and change it. Some of you may have gotten robbed of a Happy New Year and just got a Hapy New Year. Sorry. It was my finger. It has a mind of its own.

I spent last night with BF. I've decided not to call him Dubya anymore. I mentioned it to him one day in passing and he's not fond of the nickname. So I'll call him BF in true generic style. Anyway, he had to work until 5:30 yesterday and he had to be in the office at 6:30 today. I don't really understand what he does, but here is what I tell people. "He works for an oil company in information security. Right now they're working on SAP with some consultants from India, and they're going to go online Jan 1." So he's been crazy busy lately gearing up for the unveiling of the program, and today he had to go in since they were expecting glitches I guess. I made him stay up until midnight with me, then we went to bed at 12:10. We're such party animals.

He took me to a nice dinner at Sullivan's. I had offered to take him to dinner since he's been wanting to try this place, but since they were having a special 5 course meal for a steal of $95/person, he wouldn't let me play. I mean pay. But there was plenty of play. I really can't type today and I'm too lazy to go back and fix it, so I'll expend twice as much effort to explain why it's still there.

I felt so bad yesterday because I got here and saw this ...

I only bought BF three presents and then I had one little dinky thing I thought he'd get a kick out of that cost about $3.00. I kept hoping all those weren't for me, but alas, they were. And to top it off, I had forgotten TWO of his presents at my place because I was so rushed to get out here, I left them on my couch. Poor guy. I did get him a bottle of 18 yr old Glenfiddich. Is it weird that I bought my dad the same thing?

Anyway, I'm being lazy today and watching movies. Last night we played the original Super Mario Bros. game on his Wii so I think tonight I'll have him show me how to turn that on so I can play tomorrow. I haven't played that game since elementary school, and I never got past level 5. Maybe now these surgically-trained hands may have an advantage. Mwah-ha-ha.

I hope everyone is enjoying their 2008 so far. I guess it's time to start thinking about resolutions.

Happy 2008!

2007-12-31T07:34:00.000-06:00

Here's a toast to all my friends and family out there! May 2008 bring much love and happiness to each and everyone of us.

Someone gimme a glass of champagne. I have some drinkin' to do.

Happy New Year!! =)

Movie Suggestions?

2007-12-28T16:22:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here watching the latest Harry Potter movie and I can't seem to get into it. Anyone seen any good movies lately? I watched 1408 a few days ago and it was fantastic. The ending, not so hot, like so many good horror movies, but the middle made up for it. Anyone have any suggestions for movies I should watch? Particularly ones on DVD since I am alone this weekend and won't have much to do but watch movies.

Smoke Alarm Crushes & Other Nonsense

2007-12-23T16:54:00.000-06:00

I am exhausted. Period. I have been helping my parents paint their house and we are 3/4 of the way done but we still have much more tedious painting ahead of us. It wouldn't so bad but theyve got a sloped 16 ft. ceiling in their living room and an atrium (don't ask) in the front, so there are windows galore in the entry way, the living room, and the kitchen. We also painted the guest bedroom a pretty purple/silver (Silverberry by Behr) that used to be in my old room before I moved into the bigger one. I gave my mom my old bedding that matched it, so it's kinda reminiscent of my old one. It's absolutely gorgeous. I've decided to name this room the Lilac Surprise.

We painted the living room a peach color (Peach Buzz, I believe, or is that what you get when you drink too many peach bellinis?). With an accent wall of course (who doesn't add one or two of those anymore?) and we're carrying the color theme through the hallway, entry way, and kitchen.

After cleaning, taping, and painting for about 10 hours yesterday, I took a nice long HOT shower and went to bed. Imagine my pleasure when I woke up and my back and neck were so stiff I could barely push myself out of bed. When my feet hit, I realized climbing up and down the step ladder left quite an impression on my legs. Now, I bet you're guessing my quads are hurting. But no, you're wrong lad! My inner thighs are killing me. (Don't get pervy here, keep it above the waist.) Apparently when I was climbing up and down that little death machine my knees were hitting the top part, so I had to angle my feet, which gives a great inner thigh workout but leaves much strength to be desired the next day. After popping some Advil and Tylenol sinus (my allergies are also deciding to gang up on me) I went into the living room, where the bright peach on the wall induced a small seizure. When I realized No, I'm not going to die, I sat down and chatted with my parents for awhile.

Our first mission of the day was ot move their entertainment center out from the wall so my mother and I could crawl behind it and paint it, because it's too damn heavy to move outright. So my dad and I get on our knees on either side of this HUGE hunk of furniture and we heave. And ho. And grunt. No movement. Although I now had an overwhelming urge to go to the bathroom.

Needless to say we got it moved. I needed to move one side a bit farther out and I asked my mother to help. I asked if she could stabilize it (it's kinda top heavy) while i pushed it out a little farther. So she comes over, happy to help, and gets into position. I'm ready to move the furniture and I'm waiting for her to appear at the top to brace it and I'm thinking, where the hell did she go? I look behind the unit, and there she is, holding my paint tray, stabilizing it. I just had to laugh.

The craziest thing that happened today, though, is the smoke alarm has a crush on me. This is no ordinary smoke alarm. When we first heard it go off, we couldn't figure out what the hell the noise was. It was like a short, soft, sort of technological burp. I can't really explain it, but if a smoke alarm can have bodily functions, this one sure has a slew of them. So it emits this low, deep, chirsp-esque sound every few minutes when it decides it detects something (like my mom cooking). The first time we heard it, we all agreed it was a crappy alarm. Who the hell is going to respond to that? Well, then we found out it increases in loudness, shrillness and volume if it continues to detect smoke or it increases in amount. It becomes deafening. I still don't think I hear correctly out of my right ear. So while I was painting a piece of the kitchen, it started burping. There was nothing cooking, the heat wasn't on, and yet, it continued to burp every few minutes while I was in the vicinity. Strange.

I think it likes me. Or I'm just hot. ;-)

Cinn-isms

2007-12-21T16:10:00.000-06:00

So I don't think anyone who actually reads this blog knows me in person, but I have a fairly oddball way of 1) making EVERYTHING you say sound dirty or 2) making completely snarky remarks about everything you say.

I thought I'd share a few with you ...

Me: "My dog Scooter doesn't really play fetch. I'll throw the ball and she'll run after it, and then she bats it around like a cat."
Friend: "She's so weird."
Me: "My dog just likes to play with herself."
My dog likes to play with herself? Now, I like to make the random beastiality joke about the movie Flicka, but talking about doggie masturbation and my poor sweet dog just seems wrong.

Me: "I haven't studied at all. I'm gona fail. Did you study this morning?"
Friend: "No, I refused to pick up a book. I took a long shower and gave myself a facial."
Me: "You gave yourself a facial? I didn't know that was possible."
'Giving facials' jokes are never out of season. hehe

No one is safe around me. No one.

P.S. My word verification a few minutes ago ... u3ky. Am I starting an orgy or what?

Attention

2007-12-20T16:30:00.000-06:00

Sometimes all I want is a little attention. A little love. A little worry. A little appreciation. Some sort of attention.

The other night at the graduation party when J left, drunk off her ass, leaving her boyfriend as soon as he got out of the car, to go to a bar, everyone was worried sick about her. Rightly so, we were in a bad neighborhood, there was no gas in the car, and she forgot her wallet, home keys, and cell phone. She has this tendency when she’s drunk to get up set easily and just take off, to drink more at a seedy bar where she shouldn’t be alone or drive until she runs out of gas and then she has to call for help and everyone goes running.

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand why they worry about her and go running when she needs help, but this is what upsets me: We both get upset easily when we drink (J and I) but when I get pissed off, I say I’m going home, whereas she does these stupid things. But when both of us are seen the next day, she gets all the attention where people think I’m just a bitch or a party pooper.

Another case in point: My friend graduated Saturday after 8½ years and she got a huge party. I was mentioning to my parents after I saw a picture of her in cap and gown that I didn’t get pictures when I graduated. I didn’t get a party, I didn’t get a cake, I didn’t get presents, I didn’t get anything. We went to Olive Garden for dinner. My mom told me “Well it didn’t take you eight years to graduate.” So if I had screwed around like her and taken double the time to graduate I would have gotten more attention?

Why do the people who take longer or are head cases get the attention that we, who do things by the book, want and deserve? Why is it that me, the loyal one who works, goes to school, studies my ass off, gets amazing grades, gets accepted to medical school, never gets a party or a cake or some sort of “Hey, congratulations, we’re all proud of you.” But the girl who screws around for over 8 years gets the fanfare. Why is it that I’m a responsible person when I drink and I don’t put my life in danger because you said I couldn’t have anymore peanuts gets tagged as the shitty girl whereas the moron who goes to drink in shady bars where she can get killed or raped (where she PUT HERSELF) gets all the hooplah when she calls crying saying she needs someone to come get her. She has a CHILD for God’s sake. She acts this way when she has a little girl depending on her at home. Does ANYONE care to think that she is acting like an unfit parent? Instead of going out drinking every night she should be at home, taking care of her daughter rather than pawning her off on other people so she can get drunk at all hours of the night?

It just irks me that I do what I’m supposed to do. All the time. And what do I get for it? I’m pegged as the boring one, the goody two shoes, the one that is EXPECTED to always do the right thing (and I get no credit for it, of course). How is that fair?

Has anyone ever heard of the story in the bible about the man with two sons, one leaves to go gamble and drink and the other stays home to help his father tend the animals. The one who stays home is a good and loyal son, working hard for his father every day, and the other is a good for nothing man who is presumed dead after several years. The son who was presumed dead returns one day and the dad throws a huge celebration, slaughtering the animals the good son raised so they can have a feast. The good son asks the father why he is doing all this for a son that wasn’t good. The father told him because he was gone and now he’s back, whereas you’ve been here all along. Apparently that’s the meaning behind the story. This is certainly paraphrased from the sermon from church that day (it was so long ago, but it stuck with me because I was bothered by it) but the basics were that God is happier when a bad person comes back to God, because he is joyous in their return, that someone who has followed God their entire life. That’s what I got out of it. And that just pisses me off. So those of us who have been good all our lives are just cast aside for the people who go out and party and put their lives in danger and do awful things, because when they come back into people’s good graces, they get the party and whole shebang and those of us good people get jack shit.

OK, I'm done ranting.

The 10 Things Meme

2007-12-17T20:49:00.000-06:00

1. When you were born, how much did you weigh?
6 lbs, 6 oz. I was kinda small. And that's because I was a full week late! My parents still give me shit about it. "You were born late and haven't been on time since..." yadda yadda

2. What's your sugar poison?
Cake. Or Pastries. Anything buttery. I'm not a big candy fan unless I'm having a serious craving, but for the most part cake or pie.

3. If you had to choose between meat and cheese for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Then be specific.
CHEESE!! I'm not a big fan of meat, and I've gone vegetarian once or twice already, but I quit because it's a surprising amount of work, considering you have to check what kind of oil or broth things are cooked in. But I adore cheese. I couldn't handle never having real pizza ever again.

4. What, is your opinion, is the worst song ever?
"Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J. Seriously. I get it. She said knock you out. Are there any other words to that song?

5. Who was your favorite teacher growing up and why?
Mrs. Thomas. She was this wacky lady who taught 5th grade. I was mesmerized by her ablilty to hold two writing utensils in one hand and use them both (you know, when writing vowels in red and constanants in blue or something like that). Mesmerized, I tell you. That and she used to read to us and she would do all the voices. I loved to listen to her read. It was kinda funny though, because she had a lazy eye, and being in 5th grade you don't know how to tell which is the good one for the most part. She sat me by a girl named April (notice the 1 L) and we used to get in trouble and she'd yell "April!" and glare at us and we'd sit up straight as a board and look at her, then look at each other like, which one is she talking to?

6. What personal activity, when performed in public, bothers you the most?
Spitting. I can't stand spitting. it is the grossest thing a person can do in front of me (for the most part). When people spit I have to physically stop myself from gagging. Everything about it grosses me out - the sound, the spit itself, everything.

7. Ok, there's a $50 bill lying on the ground. You pick it up. Dumbfounded by your incredible luck, what do you selfishly purchase?
Make up. I'm such a girl. Some fun colors and hopefully something glittery.

8. Do you have a recurring nightmare? If so, explain.
Yeah. I have one that has followed me since I was little. I have it whenever I get stressed. It's really retarded to explain, but in the dream I'm scared shitless. Basically there are these two guys dressed like burglars (black sweats, black masks) and they're chasing me in my old house where I used to grow up. I'm screaming at my parents that we have to go and we go outside and there is a bright cherry red convertible and a beat up old van. So my dad yells to get in the van and we all pile in. My mom is driving, my dad is in the passenger seart, and I'm in the back. Suddenly we're on a different street and they're in this tiny ass black convertible and they're stuffed in it (cartoon style) and I'm in the back of the van screaming that they're gaining on us. I move to the front and ask my dad why we took the van instead of the faster car and he said (get this) "Because the van gets better gas mileage." (yeah i know, comedic relief, eh?) So my dad moves to the back of the van and he's looking as the guys are right on our bumper and suddenly he gets sucked down the exhaust pipe, which apparently is just a pipe from the back of the van to the outside, and he blows up like a balloon on the other side of the van door, and gets blown out the exhaust pipe. And that's where I wake up. Anyone wanna decipher that for me?

9. Name one place on Earth you've never been, but vow to visit at least once.
Greece. Australia. Ok that was two for the mathematically challenged.

10. You notice that question #9 wasn't really a question. You feel smart for catching such a small detail. What else can you do really well that reminds you how smart you are?
Um. Being in medical school should make me feel smart but for the most part I feel like I'm an idiot because I always feel like I'm behind and everyone knows more than me. I can write with both my hands at the same time, even writing DIFFERENT WORDS. How's that? I know, I'm a circus freak.

Lawn Gnomes

2007-12-17T17:43:00.001-06:00

I was at a friends graduation party (DRAMA!) and she reminded me of something rather funny. She and I were sitting in her living room when one of her good friends where she works came in and sat with us. Last time we three girls were together we were in my car and J (her friend) wanted to ride with the top down, so I agreed. We're pulling out of the parking lot of TGIFriday's (high class, I know, don't hate) and she's waving her arms screaming at the top of her lungs "I'm in a Corvette!!" I was like, "Shhh, no sweetie, this isn't a Corvette, this is a convertible." We teased her about it for a long time afterward. Still do actually.

But what was even funnier (and stop me if you've heard this one) was the fact that we started telling each other our funny drunk stories. I, personally, don't have a lot. I can't even think of one to mention right now. How sad is that? Anyway, J got to talking and she has a lawn gnome story. Now that's a drunk story. I feel cheated that I don't have one. Just imagine the possibilities. "Did I tell you the one about that time with the lawn gnome?" "That's so funny! Wait til you hear what I did with a lawn gnome last night!" Just mentioning the words "lawn gnome" in the same breath as being drunk is bound to give you uber super cool points.

Where can I find a lawn gnome? And does anyone have any fun drunk stories they'd like to share? C'mon don't be shy. ;-)

3's

2007-12-06T09:22:00.000-06:00

So my shelf exam is tomorrow. I am so unprepared for i, but I've worked my ass off during surgery and now I just want to sit and veg. Of course, I'll have all weekend to do that, but I want to do it NOW. I think I'm spoiled.

I've been having one helluva week. Mostly because I found out someone was talking shit about me to another person, which really bothered me because 1) I hate when people talk about other people behind their backs. Grow some balls and tell them to their face. 2) I have issues with people not liking me. I know it's retarded, but I have this insane need for everyone to like me, and 3) They were saying I was a horrible student on trauma and I worked my ass off, and I want to know what exactly I did that makes them think I was a lazy student, and 4) It bugs the shit out of me that they're telling other students that I'm lazy and getting bad grades and apparently this rumor is getting perpetuated around the hospital.

Here's the deal: A fellow 3rd year surgery student (let's call her Sue) told me that she was informed by "a guy" that the I was a horrible student on trauma and I got all 2's on my evaluation. (We're graded on a scale of 1-4, 4 being one of the best students you've ever taught, 1 being they threw excrement at me on a weekly basis.) Now, I realize that I don't know the person, but I was really offended because I worked my ass off on that service. I was always there at 5:30 and I saw my patients, wrote notes, printed reports, I was always there (I even got cheated out of my mandatory 4 days off because I was nice and worked to let other people off and then I got screwed in the end), and NO ONE ever mentioned that I should be doing something differently. I even get pulled aside by my residents and I'm told I did a great job and they miss me. So I'm thinking, WTF?

But here's the kicker. The faculty gave us this speech one day about how we need to make everyone feel like they are an integral part of the team. He basically told us that not everyone is on the same intelligence level (not that it's anyone's fault) but some people are doctors, some are nurses, some are x-ray techs, etc. Even amongst doctors you'll have differences in intelligence levels, but regardless you have to make everyone feel like they are being helpful even though you feel like they are trying to sabotage a patient's care. So after I heard that I "did a bad job" I was thinking, maybe when he was telling me that I was working hard and doing a good job, he was basically patting the retarded kid on the head and saying "you fucking moron, I just want you to go away, so here's a sticker."

This is all extremely silly and petty, I realize this, but I can't stand to be talked about behind my back, especially when I worry that it's true. I always work hard and do my best, but I always feel I should have done better, even if it wasn't possible. I should have known more of the answers, I should have worked up more patients, I should have juggled scalpels while performing surgery, I just always feel inadequate, and so for someone to say that I was, regardless of if it was true, it really takes a toll.

I looked at my evaluation, and I can't make heads or tails out of it. I received all 3's (which I believe is just passing, as in, you did bare minimum), but I received some good comments, like "Hardworking, mature, affable," "exceeds expectations," and "above average" but I have no idea what those comments correlate to. Exceeds expectations in ability to keep nails clean? Above average in not using profanity?

This whole thing just drives me insane. AND I've gained 5 pounds. God hates me.

Treo 700

2007-12-06T09:19:00.000-06:00

This is my new phone. The Treo 700. I love this phone because I can do so much with it. Too bad it's much bigger and clunkier than my old phone. This one pulls down my scrubs and I have to constantly readjust myself (heh) to keep my pants up. But now I can take pictures and then you guys can feel like you're right there with me for all of my fun moments here in crazyland (aka UTMB hospital).

Bored

2007-12-01T07:19:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here at 7:30am waiting for Dubya (my new nick for my current man, his first name starts with W) to get his butt out of bed. I rolled out around 6:30 to study. I'm not used to sleeping in so late. I have to be at the hospital by 5:45. So now I'm ordering Fluidity (because I don't have enough ways to work out as it is), watching Gossip Girl (no, you're the dork), and watching my BRAND NEW TV!!!

Yep, I did it. I splurged. Merry Christmas to me. I'm loving it. I had Dubya help me set it up last night. Well, he did a lot of it. Most of it actually. I just peeled the stickers. One, actually. One sticker. But I felt I helped more by staying out of the way. I'm sure someone knows my situation.

I really should go study since I'm being bad and playing all weekend and my exam is next Friday....

Go Ahead, Clip It!

2007-11-26T15:20:00.000-06:00

Some of you may find this strange, others may find it inspirational, but I find it realistic and necessary. As most of you know, I flushed my oil phone down the toilet into Galveston Bay, so I've needed to unload my pants and pockets before I go to the bathroom. Well, I have too much crap to just set down and there really isn't a good place to leave this stuff in fear of someone just picking things up (my phone more than my pager), so this is my solution. I just clip them to this handy dandy piece of metal. Isn't that what it's there for? :-D I'm brilliant.

I told you I'd bring you more photos with this new phone. ;-)

Lost & Found

2007-11-26T09:48:00.000-06:00

I was lost. Now I'm found.

Pretty profound for a nothing new post.

I've just been MIA for waaaayyyyyyy too long and I thought I'd come back to say hi. I'm playing hooky for a little while from work. Plastics is so boring. It's so precise, it's ridiculous, and I can see how a surgeon would absolutely adore this profession, but being a student in plastics sucks. I don't do anything. I mostly observe, and when I actually get to scrub into surgery, I stand BEHIND someone. That in itself is completely retarded, because a person's back, when scrubbed in, is not sterile. So I've just contaminated myself. So I stand there, behind 4 doctors all huddled around a very small surgical field, and I pretend that I can see what they're doing. Most of the time I'm trying to act interested whilst I am singing Britney Spears' Piece of Me in my head. (Has anyone else got her album? I've never really been a huge fan of hers, but this one song is awesome.)

In Trauma I at least got to retract something or see patients during clinic. Want to know what I did during clinic this past week. I handed someone an alcohol pad. That's it. I'm so glad I have spent this infinite amount of time and money to hand someone an alcohol pad. I can't even change wound dressings...

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know I am alive. I finish surgery on December 7th (wahoo!) and then I'm off for FOUR WHOLE WEEKS. I've got lots planned (forensic conference, Christmas with the parents, Skills Week makeup sessions, New Years with the boyfriend, etc.). I'm hoping to post more pics now that my new phone sends pics easily to my computer. I just figured this out. It's so handy. So maybe this blog will be more interesting. Probably not, but I like to think it might one day be a fun read. ;)

Biker Weekend

2007-11-05T16:19:00.000-06:00

I was on trauma call Saturday, right smack in the middle of biker weekend. Talk about screwed. In 24 hours (technically 25 with the hour change, lucky me) we got over 40 trauma patients come in. Mostly motorcycle accidents, a few domestic abuse cases, and the usual drunks off the street. Being on call this weekend sucked, because it was so busy and the upper level residents are complete assholes (save a few nice ones) so it got really old being yelled at. This one upper level is mentally unstable. That's my diagnosis. She barks at everyone she can. I think she's got a complex. At first it really bothered me. Now I'm just amused by her anger.

I didn't get to do too much other than roll patients around, but I learned how to clean wounds and I became a little more familiar with protocol for trauma patients.

This one guy ... I have to tell you about him. He was beaten up and stabbed by some guy or guys, I didn't really get the story. So his girlfriend decides to run these guys down, and she ends up running over him. Poor guy. He had to have surgery from a bleed in his chest she caused by crushing his ribs. Heh. I think he needs to get a new girlfriend.

That was the first time I have ever gone 24 hours on my feet, frantically busy, with no food or sleep. I'm beginning to feel like a human again.

P.S. The guy who got "screwed" was a prisoner who didn't like the way he was being treated because he had an abscess next to his colostomy bag and he didn't think he was getting enough attention. So he took a few paperclips, straightened them out, and then proceeded to stick them into his abscess and then took a screw and screwed it into his abscess, all the way to the head...What men will do for a little attention...

Bye Bye Cell Phone

2007-11-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

I got a new cell phone today. And no, it wasn't because I felt like spending uber amounts of money. I had an accident with my previous phone. What kind of accident you say? Not an everyday kind of accident, that's for damn sure!

It started out like any other day. I woke up at 4:30 to get to the hospital by 6:00 so I could pre-round on my patients. I was in the bathroom in the student lounge, and I was done peeing and I went to flush the toilet. I forget that sometimes the toilets like the handle to be pushed back towards the wall instead of down to the floor like most toilets. Who knows why these are such finicky creatures. I wasn't thinking these important thoughts at this time, my mind was racing thinking I was going to be late to the floor because I couldn't flush the damn toilet!! So I reached out with my other hand, and using two hands, I forced the handle down and the toilet began to flush. I smiled in my power to win: woman vs. machine and I won. Then I watched, in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n as my beautiful, three month old cell phone tumbled out of my breast pocket of my scrubs into the toilet. I watched it was it broke into three pieces in the swirling water of the toilet, and I watched as it was sucked away.

I flushed my damn cell phone down the toilet.

Don't judge me.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

2007-10-20T16:00:00.001-05:00

There is a girl on my service that I can't stand. At first, I thought she was nice and all, but I've since discovered she's one of those fake nice people, who are all bubblegum and sunshine superficially, but when they talk, they're generally backhandedly talking bad about someone. Namely me. I don't know why she does it. She may not even realize it, but half the stuff she says makes me look bad, and half the time, I had nothing to do with it.

For example - our first trauma call we all responded (usually it's just one student during the day) and we are supposed to take them to radiology to get CT scans/Xrays/whatever is ordered. So she is acting extremely superior and explaining how this is our job (I'm SO glad I'm 75 grand in debt so I can push a bed to and from xray, which is a job that someone from transportation can do and all they have is a high school degree. It makes me feel so good about my long nights of studying.) and she's going on and on and ON about this crap and she's undoing his stuff and putting the monitor on his bed and we're wheeling him away. We're getting him set up in the CT room for a trauma-gram (what they call all the standard tests they order) and the nurse suddenly goes apeshit that the patient doesn't have his blood pressure cuff on because "if he crashes we have to do something." First I'm thinking, what the hell can we do? We're med STUDENTS. We're not even allowed to draw blood. What am I going to do? Wheel him around on this bed? Cuz that's apparently all I'm capable of doing. So this other girl in the room ( I have no idea who she was) said the med students did it, and Hurricane Gail (her new nickname, to protect the innocent) goes "Don't hurt them, they don't know any better." Now this may SOUND like she's being nice and trying to defend us, but SHE is the one who took the damn thing off, and instead of saying, oh my bad, I did it, she lets them blame us for it so I get chewed out for it. I soooo wanted to hit her.

She's always doing things like this. I got in trouble for leaving a different trauma patient in the XR room and apparently I'm supposed to stay in with patients, you know, in case they code I can wheel 'em around trauma bay going "wheeeeeee!" because that's all I really know how to do. So after I got bitched at by the resident, SHE bitched at me telling me I should have known better....Ugh. I WOULD have if someone (namely her since it was her responsibility to tell me these things the first day when she was explaining things) but nooooooo, she tells them that she told me everything I needed to know and I must not take my duties seriously. I really want to kick her.

Surgery, Day 1

2007-10-15T21:14:00.001-05:00

I am assigned to four weeks of trauma and four weeks of plastics. I am SO EXCITED!! These are the toughest ones to be in, but I requested them, so I'm jumping in with both feet.

I found out I'm on trauma call on Halloween. That should make for some good stories.

I also already wanted to bitchslap a nurse today. As in, full on, wanted to see her dentures flying out of her mouth, kind of bitchslap. Yes, that badly. I've already been in the OR so I know how to scrub and glove and gown, and she kept bugging me about breaking sterile field. I was like, I'm not. My upper arm is touching my scrubs, but that doesn't make a damn bit of difference since you're only sterile to your elbow. Moron. Then she told us not to break the gowns because we were reusing them to have everyone have a chance. My group was a little slow (not really, just everyone else didn't do it, so she was saying we were slow since we were actually following directions) and she got mad at me when I was trying to help a girl out of her gown. She was almost screeching at me, "No! Let her do it! She needs to know how hard she has to pull to break scrub!" I'm standing there, my jaw open, thinking, Didn't you just tell us not five minutes ago to NOT break scrub?" It drives me nuts when people do that, and then think you're the idiot for not realizing they had changed their minds. People can be such 'tards.

I did, however, go to the gym today which felt amazing and now I am sore and tired and I want desperately to go to bed, but I am washing my scrubs since I, alas, have only one pair. I need to invest in more. I hate to buy the damn things since we can get a few pairs from the laundry service free, but the sizes tend to vary even if you always get the same size. Go figure. AND they are cut for men, and I am one curvy young lady, so they don't got AT ALL. My waist is really small for my hips, so I have to get a pair of bottoms THREE SIZES bigger than I usually wear so it will fit my hips (since they're cut for men) so the stomach is HUGE and billows out and bunches in strange places. Then the shirt doesn't leave room for boobies so I have to wear a sports bra all the time and it's still too tight, so my shirt is TWO SIZES larger than what I usually wear, AND the stomach is huge. Luckily, they let us wear whatever scrubs we want, they don't have to be the ones provided (which is usually the case at other hospitals) so I'm going to have to buy some cute, flattering ones. These scrubs just ain't cuttin' it. And I REFUSE to wash them EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.

As for me, I'm going to go study a bit. Look at me, I'm a gunner. :)

Questions

2007-10-12T20:39:00.000-05:00

Jules sent this to me in an email a few MONTHS ago and I thought since I had some time tonight, I'd sit down and actually answer them. I've always gotten a kick out of these types of things, so here goes ...

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:00 :/ I had an exam today and I needed to study

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Bourne Ultimatum

4. What is your favorite TV show? HEROES!!

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? coffee

6. What is your middle name? Michelle

7. What food do you dislike? anything with raw onions or shaved coconut, peas, fried chicken. i could go on, i'm kind of a picky eater

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? i don't reallly listen to CDs, just mixes on my iPod

9. What kind of car do you drive? 2004 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder

10. Favorite sandwich? PB&J

11. What characteristic do you despise? judgemental

12. Favorite item of clothing? pajama bottoms

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Greece, Australia, or Italy

14. What color is your bathroom? Ummm, it's greens and greys

15. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't pay attention to brand names

16. Where would you retire to? I have no idea, I'm just trying to graduate at this point

17. Most favorite birthday? the year i got a new bathing suit and high heels and i walked around in them all day. i was like 5. don't judge me.

18. Favorite sport to watch? on tv - basketball, in real life - baseball

19. Farthest place you are sending this? Mars

20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? i don't want to renumber this entire thing so i'm leaving it here for #20 :)

21. Person you expect to send it back first? same as above

22. Favorite saying? I'm gonna go with ... no.

23. When is your birthday? May 2

24. Are you a morning person or a night person? Neither, I'm a have to be up at all hours, constantly needs sleep, so I don't really know if it's day or night really kind of person

25. What is your shoe size? 11. call me big foot. no, not really.

26. Pets? 3 dogs with my parents. sniffle.

27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? i got my AC fixed!! and my ceiling fans. i love our handyman. he may be a crackhead, but he knows what he's doing. i want to marry him and have little crack babies.

28. What did you want to be when you were little? A waitress. I know, high expectations.

29. What are you doing today? Well, since it's almost over, I'll tell you what I DID. I took an exam, had lunch with a friend from NY who is in town, cleaned, had dinner with a different friend, listened to some frat drama, tried to mow the lawn but found out the damn thing was broken, and now i'm doing this. wow, that so wasn't worth a recap.

30. What is your favorite candy? PEANUT M&M's. wow that got me excited.

31. What is your favorite flower? tiger lilies or yellow roses

32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? christmas. i can't wait to see my friends and family.

33. What is your full name? Aprill Michelle Rowe

34. What are you listening to right now? Pushing Daisy's in the background. I'm multitasking.

36. What was the last thing you ate? cake and ice cream. my current "roomie" and i kinda pigged out tonight.

37. Do you wish on stars? every now and then

38. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? pink or silver

39. How is the weather right now? hot and humid and it's 10:00 at night

40. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my boyfriend

41. Do you like the person who sent this to you? not in the slightest. hehe j/k course i do!!!

42. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper

43. Favorite restaurant? Pho 20 (local vietnamese restaurant that is amazing)

44. Hair color? brown with red and yellow highlights. i'm going to dye it dark brown veddy veddy sooon.

45. Siblings? 3 older half brothers

46. Favorite day of the year? Dec 25. i just really like christmas

47. What was your favorite toy as a child? i don't remember a lot of my toys. if i say 'my imagination' is that too corny?

48. Summer or winter?WINTER!!

49. Hugs or kisses? Hugs... People should be more free with hugs.

50. Chocolate or Vanilla? usually vanilla

51. Do you want your friends to email you back? if they can

52. When was the last time you cried? earlier this week, it's been a bad week

53. What is under your bed? nothing. it's the one place in my apartment that's clean. i should hang out under my bed.

54. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Rachel, I've known her since 4th grade

55. What did you do last night? Umm, crap I don't remember. Studied I'm sure.

56. Favorite smell? Men's cologne!! I just want to drink it in!!

57. What are you afraid of? never being loved.

58. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? buttered AND salted. high blood pressure here i come!

59. How many keys on your key ring? 2 most of the time, 3 if i attach my car key. i try to keep it real.

60. How many years at your current job? um, if we're referring to medical school this is my 3rd year

61. Favorite day of the week? saturday. ALL DAY to enjoy

62. How many towns have you lived in? 5

63. Do you make friends easily? depends on when i meet them

Commercial Obsession

2007-10-11T08:58:00.001-05:00

So I'm obsessed with the song from that sweater commercial with all the skinny chicks in it. So I decided to google it, finally, and figure out the damn song ... Here it is. She seems pretty cool. I'm going to have to look into getting some of her music. She also did the "Keep Breathing" songs from Grey's Anatomy, so she's geting pretty goood attention. What do you guys think?

AC broken, again

2007-10-10T08:24:00.000-05:00

The AC unit in my "living area" broke and since they are now out of season, I'm having to drive an hour and a half to try and find one, since I've heard a certain store in a certain city is the only place to find them now. It's freaking 90 degrees outside, humid as hell, and they're stocking the shelves with HEATERS? This is SOUTH TEXAS PEOPLE ... it doesn't get cold until January and then it hits a shivering 50 degrees. Morons ... I don't understand why they don't stock things that are "in season" for the area. Halloween is pretty much universal - throw candy in every store you can, but for the love of deodorant, don't take away the AC units when we're still in need!

More Personality Tests

2007-10-09T09:37:00.001-05:00

What can I say? I'm procrastinating from studying...

Boo! I'm Back!!

2007-10-09T08:57:00.000-05:00

OMG.

I have been so damn busy in pediatrics it's ridiculous! But I'm back. And probably not better than ever. I will try to update more often, now that I have internet again. The house I was put in for outpatient peds clinic didn't have internet, and I was having trouble connecting to the wireless at the coffee shops in town. Of course, the 16-year-old guys behind the counter with glazed eyes and dumbfounded looks weren't helpful when I told them I was having problems. I have a sneaking suspicion they didn't really care.

I am now done with peds. I have to take an OSCE on Thursday (the whole standardized patient encounter thing) and then Friday is my shelf. And then I'm OFFICIALLY done with peds. Right now I'm unofficially done with it. =)

So here is a quick update on me ...

Will and I are dating. It turns out he had gone out on two dates with one girl and there wasn't a connection, when he said dating he meant dating=having gone out on dates whereas i thought he meant dating=in a relationship with someone. Anyway we worked it out and it's been great.

I am STILL friggin sick. I'm so tired of it. Will mentioned the other night that I snore and I have apnea (which means I stop breathing for short periods of time while I'm sleeping). No one has ever told me I stop breathing in my sleep, but I know I snore when I'm sick because I can't breathe through my nose. Attractive, I know. Anyway, we had a kid come in yesterday and his mom was like, I think he has obstructive sleep apnea because he's tired all the time, cranky, can't focus, etc. etc. (it tends to look like ADHD too) and I told her that large tonsils can be the "obstruction" and sure enough, he had big ones. So now I'm wondering if I should get a tonsillectomy because my tonsils have been huge, and I've been exhausted for the past two months, and I thought it was because I was sick and always run down, but I'm wondering now if I really DO have apnea and that's what is affecting me so much. Anyway, this is me diagnosing myself.

I am on surgery next, which means long hours and mean people. And lots of pimping. =( Long call, 6 days a week ... it won't be pretty. But I'll try to poke my head back in as often as possible.

This weekend I have some friends coming in from out of town and next weekend is the infamous P&W party, so it's going to be a busy few weeks for me. =)

OK, now it's time to start poking through some blogs and see what everyone else has been up to!

Sad News

2007-09-13T20:45:00.001-05:00

Tonight I told Houston boy that I re-thought the whole dating thing and I was interested.

He told me he was seeing someone.

Labor Day Weekend!

2007-09-01T07:40:00.001-05:00

Finally, some time off!! I HATE this schedule. I have to be at work by 6 to round on my patients, put in a full day of work, one weekend day is required, AND I have to take call. Blah! I want an 8-5 job.

So my time with Blue Team inpatient is up. I work in the Infant Special Care Unit for the next two weeks - or more commonly called - the NICU. I will be working with little premies with problems, like 2 pound 27-wk old babies. Apparently everyone who works there is a jerk because these babies are difficult to treat and most end up dying.

I'm going gambling this weekend with Houston boy. We've been hanging out a ton lately - he's been helping me with my place. He's totally handy around the house which I think is completely sexy. We're spending the weekend in Lake Charles, so that should be fun. If anyone else is going to be there, you can find me at the black jack table! :)

Personality Test

2007-08-28T21:30:00.000-05:00

Extraversion |||||||||| 33%
Stability |||||| 26%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 60%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Interdependence |||||| 23%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||| 36%
Artistic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Religious |||||||||||| 50%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Materialism |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||| 30%
Work ethic |||||||||||||| 56%
Self absorbed |||||| 23%
Conflict seeking |||| 16%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||| 56%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Wealth |||| 16%
Dependency |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Individuality |||||| 23%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Peter pan complex |||||| 30%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical fitness || 10%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Vanity |||| 16%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Indie |||||||||||||| 53%

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:
depressed, introverted, neat, needs things to be extremely clean, observer, perfectionist, not self revealing, does not make friends easily, suspicious, irritable, hates large parties, follows the rules, worrying, does not like to stand out, fragile, phobic, submissive, dislikes leadership, cautious, takes precautions, focuses on hidden motives, good at saving money, solitary, familiar with the dark side of life, hard working, emotionally sensitive, prudent, altruistic, heart over mind, unadventurous

PEDS, Day 1

2007-08-20T16:34:00.000-05:00

My first day of peds was .... overwhelming. Between changing of schedules every othwe week and call and small group and lectures and grand rounds and morning report and presentations and conferences, I'm not exactly sure when I'm supposed to see my patients. But I have to "pre-round" before we actually "round" which means I have to be up here at 0630 to see my patients so I'm ready to report at 0830 after morning report. Like the military time? Apparently they use it in hospitals, which I can understand. I'm just not very quick at it. I have to do the math EVERY SINGLE TIME.

It was so hot today that I completely sweated through my clothes EACH TIME i went outside. So, in total, QID so far. That's four times for all you non-med personnel. :) I have already been assigned a baby boy as my first patient. He's 8 months and has been in the hospital since he was born. He keeps getting problem after problem and he won't take anything by mouth, so they're having to feed him through a NG tube (nasogastric tube). Poor little guy. There is only one other guy working Blue Team with me. His name is Mike and he's already got a neuro PhD. He's from Corpus Christi also. Imagine that, huh? We're gonna tear it up CC style.

His case is completely depressing and complicated. The boy, who is 7 years old, was in an accident. His sister and father died in the crash, and he has an UNSTABLE fracture at L3, a broken arm that's in a cast, a perforated abdomen (his intestine ripped open), aortic intimal tears (the big blood vessel off your heart that supplies blood from your neck down, it's got some tears in it), brain shearing injuries (his brain got knocked around in his skull from the impact), and the lower half of one of his legs had to be amputated from the injuries. He still doesn't know his family members died in the crash, all we're allowed to say is that they were hurt and they're not here right now. The mom wants to be the one to tell him. Who knows why she hasn't done it yet.

Blue Team, which is the team I am on, is for chronic/complicated cases, whereas Gold Team is more acute or first time hospitalizations. There are only 2 Blue team students and 6 gold team, so I feel kinda lucky I got Blue team. It sort of makes up for my specialty. They said we could rank what we'd like and they'd TRY to put us in those. I was placed in ISCU - Infant Specialty Care Unit (or SICU). I ranked that last. I'm the only student in there for 2 weeks and I have to take ALL the call AND work the weekends.

The good part is, peds seems pretty laid back so far. I like all the doctors. The crappy part is - all the doctors are changing on Wednesday, so we're not going to continue with the ones we met today. AND we aren't going to get to do a lot in terms of procedures since all the residents just started Jul 1 so they're gonna want to do them since they've only been doctors for like, a month and a half.

I have Blue Team Inpatient for 2 weeks, then SICU for 2 weeks, NICU (newborn nursery) for 1 week, and then Ambulatory for 3 weeks. I haven't been assigned to my clinic site yet, which makes me worry.

That's all for now. I need to update my schedule on my computer and PDA. I hope I don't miss anything, this is a seriously busy schedule.

Aprill R., MSIII (I have to sign everything like this now. haha)

P.S. I have Labor Day off. Apparently the schedules were supposed to change this year and we were supposed to be working, but the person who gave us our packets gave us the day off because she didn't know about the change, so we got lucky. PLUS I have call Aug 30 so I am dismissed the following day no later than 1400 so I get to start my long weekend early. :) yay!

I'm Not Pregnant.

2007-08-12T20:51:00.001-05:00

Whew.

So when my french man and I had our little fun that night, we kinda didn't use protection. (Kinda=absolutely not) I was 99.9% sure I was going to be fine (pregnancy wise, but I hate condoms and I took a chance he was clean) and I let him finish in me. Twice. I know, I know, don't say it. I have been lecturing myself nonstop since then. It won't happen again. Ever.

I decided to take a pregnancy test today just to make sure. It was negative. Thank God. Funny thing is, I took it at a friend's place and I threw the box away in the bathroom trash can, and I think her boyfriend (whom she lives with) saw it and I think he thought it was hers. Heh. I told her to watch out for him being weird.

I also checked my score again today, and my score went up 14 points!! :) So NOW I'm pleased with my score.

Other random updates:
1. Tuesday is my last day in Family Medicine. I take exams Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
2. Pediatrics start next Monday.
3. I LOVE family practice and I am VERY interested in doing family med.
4. A-man is being a total terd and I'm almost completely done with him. I can't be competely yet though...It was some REALLY good ass that night.
5. I highlighted my hair. I'm turning into a blonde. I'll see what I can do about posting a pic of it.

I'll be checking blogs this weekend so you're warned you might be flooded with comments!! :)

I Passed

2007-08-04T09:05:00.000-05:00

I got my USMLE Step 1 score in. I got a 195. I passed, which is good, but I didn't do very well, so that really sucks. I was hoping to do so much better. But at this point, I'm looking at Family Practice or Psychiatry, so I don't need a high score to do either of those.

Audy and I talked this morning, but he was asking me about how I studied and all that stuff, and then I let him get back to studying. It was a pretty boring conversation. It's so sad, I had such high hopes for him.

Oh well, I still have my Houston boy.

Sick Day

2007-08-02T10:28:00.000-05:00

Can you call in sick if you're just sick of the office? That's what I did today. Of course, I left out the "of the office" part and I added a little cough and sniffle. It's not tooooo far from the truth because I have been feeling awful lately, feverish and coughing, just blah for the most part. The Doc takes every Thursday off to fish, so I figured, I might as well take the day off.

I did my first actual pelvic exam on a woman yesterday. I had such issues. It was so awkward. I won't go into details, but let's just say I was glad to get it over with. i think it was more traumatizing for me than her! THEN when I thought I was done, he was like, you need to do a rectal exam. I'm sorry, a WHAT? I've never done one of those, so I was like, um, ok, I guess I'll fake it. I couldn't run out of there fast enough. THEN a guy comes in for a physical and of course he has a hernia so I had to go play with his testicles to feel it, and then the Doc had me check his prostate. My fingers have been so many places they didn't want to be, it's unfair. :/ I feel violated.

We had this crazy guy come in yesterday. The last appointment of the day always has to be looney. When he found out I was a medical student, he said "She's not a REAL medical student, it's law that women can't become doctors. She can become a nurse or something." EXCUSE ME?!? He just said some of the craziest things I've heard in awhile, like "We're fighting a war in Iraq; The enemy doesn't want us to exercise." Yeah, that's their plan, kill us with obesity.

Crotch-Watching

2007-07-29T09:58:00.000-05:00

Jules knows what's I'm talking about. :)

I have been in clinic since Monday and I have been LOVING it. I'm thinking about going into family medicine. I thought it was all runny noses and colds but it's such variety. I'm really enjoying it. I am seeing rashes, abdominal pain, back pain, spider bites (which have turned into huge absceses that have to be poped, ewwww), headaches, hypertension, diabetes, shoulder pain, and arthritis. All kinds of stuff. It definately keeps you on your toes.

We had this one patient come in. Tall black man with baby blue eyes, older gentleman, and he was coming in for a routine checkup. I interviewed him and had him sit on the table and checked out his heart and lungs, told him the doctor would be in in a few minutes, and I went to present him to the doc. We go in a few minutes later and he's still on the table, which is fine, and the doctor sat on his stool, so I sat on a chair across from the patient. Right in line with his crotch. I blinked. I stared. My mouth almost fell open. I swear his penis ran down down half the length of his thigh. I was like, what the ... I couldn't help staring. I tried to focus on what he was saying, but I was sooo distracted. It was the biggest one I've ever seen and it was soft. It was huge!

Talk about unprofessional. haha

Tagged

2007-07-28T11:19:00.000-05:00

SSD tagged me awhile back and I figured I should get to it at some point ...

Sooooooo 8 things that no one knows about me. Here we go.

1. (ok I've been sitting here for 15 minutes and nothing ... ) I dye my hair every couple of months. My natural color is dark brown but my hair lightens in the sun so easily I dye it so it doesn't look fried.

2. I used to dance when I was little. I took ballet and tap lessons and for a few years I did Folklorico dancing.

3. One of my brothers is in jail for accessory to murder. I was never on good terms with him, he and I fought my entire childhood and I haven't talked to him since my sophomore year in high school.

4. I have recurrent nightmares. When I'm stressed, it seems that I dream more and they all seem to be nightmares, and there is one that I always have.

5. I like to spend money when I'm sad or stressed. I always make a semi-large purchase before an exam, especially recently. Hence the new iPod, TiVO, computer, laptop, printer, etc.

6. I almost always feel like I don't belong. I always feel too tall, too far, too old, too young, too smart, not smart enough, not nice enough, etc. I always feel like an odd ball with whomever I am with. I think I'm just not comfortable in my own skin.

7. I HATE liars. 'Nuff said.

8. I daydream constantly. It's so hard not to - I will see or hear something and it will trigger something and I'll go off in a daydream and lose track of what I'm doing. Sometimes it's fun,when I'm in bed drifting to sleep or bored, but it will happen in clinic, in class, during a test. It's awful. I'll just come back to reality and think WTF am I doing?!?

OK no tagging people, but I hope you had fun learning a bit about yours truly.

OMG I'm Back!!

2007-07-21T07:47:00.000-05:00

Hey gang ... It's been tooooooo long!! So I am back from Champaign. I took my test on Monday (16th) and I will get my scores in another month or so. I drove back on Tuesday but it took me two days because I didn't sleep at all Monday night so I had to stop early on Tuesday and sleep and then finished the drive on Wednesday. I have been cleaning and painting and lifting and moving things since I got back since I'm moving into a new room. I leave Sunday to start my Family Medicine rotation back home. I'm so tired of driving.

OK, so quick update, then I have to get back to work, but I will be visiting everyone very very soon!! :)

The test was fair. I didn't know everything, and I definately got some gimme questions wrong (damnit!) but overall, the test wasn't skewed and I felt if I had studied harder/better I would have gotten them. But at that point, I just wanted to get the damn thing over with, and I felt pretty good during the test. So let's hope I did OK.

I am so confused with boys. So my french man (I'm going to call him A because I'm paranoid one of my friends is trying to find my blog, I'm being stalked!) ... So A and I went out for drinks one night. It was absolutely amazing. I couldn't have asked for anything better. He wanted to get a room that night, but of course it was under the pretense that I had forgotten my keys and I should wake my roomie to open the door for me. And no, I didn't leave my keys on purpose, I honestly forgot them. :) Anyway I didn't trust myself and I don't sleep with someone on the first date, so I told him we should call it a night. Then a few days later he texted me saying "I have bad news." So he had left. He was already packed up and on the road to Chicago. He had a personal emergency and had to leave. I told him to take care figuring I'd never see him again, and he said we'd keep in touch. Yeah, right. Sure. OK, so fast forward to after my test - he said I should go to Chicago to visit him the following morning. I told him I couldn't because I would be leaving at 5:00a.m. to go north to Chicago, stay there a few hours, drive back two hours to Champaign, load my car, then drive 15 hours home. But I ended up driving to Chicago (hehe) and I got there about 1:00a.m. We just met up at a hotel on the southern end since he lives on the north end. Anyway, we, um, hung out, and can I just say ... WOW. So he is planning on coming to visit me at the end of September once he takes his exam. So my confusion is this: what the hell is this? I can't imagine he'd come across country for a booty call. (I'm good but not that good.) I have that guy in Houston that really wants to get together, and I planned on telling him that we could date, but casually, because I'm really not interested in starting a real relationship (unless it's with A, of course, because I am really hooked). I just don't want to see A in September and he be like "You've been doing what?!?" And I REALLY don't want to do the whole "defining conversation" those scare me...

OK, so my neighbor is still being a little bitch, but that's the way he always acts. I've decided if he wants to act like one, that doesn't mean I have to be one also. It's his life and I am not letting him affect me anymore. Thank God I'm getting away.

I gotta go work. I have to figure out how to install a cieling fan. :) I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend and I will be back soon!! :)

Stress

2007-06-30T10:08:00.000-05:00

2 weeks before the big day and I am FREAKING OUT. I am in the middle of my NBME exam which will tell me my score on USMLE Step 1 within 10 points. Passing is 185, average is 220 ... I'm hoping to get a 220-235, anything higher is completely impractical. I have been here 4 weeks and I have learned so much but I feel like I haven't retained anything. I have all these details floating around in my head, but they're jumbled and I get flustered on the questions. I am such a horrible test-taker.

On a side note, there is a guy here that I am absolutely infatuated with. He is black, 6'4", built, good-looking, 32 years old, owns his own business, speaks four languages .... Ahhh my dream come true. And he's really nice. I was workin' it for a little while, and I almost asked him out for coffee or lunch, but now is not the time to be spending getting to know him. Plus, he lives in Chicago so that won't work very well after I leave. I'm not even sure if I will see him again since class is over and I am studying up here at the center and he will be studying at the apartments and I don't have his number.

I've lost 15 pounds so far. :) Yay!!

I hope everyone is well and I will be posting more soon, hopefully, but these next two weeks are going to be killer. Wish me luck!!

P.S. I just found out my first rotation is Family Medicine and I get to do it back home!! I'm so excited. :)

There's Never Any Time...

2007-06-17T11:46:00.000-05:00

Anyone else here a Saved By The Bell fan? I used to watch that show every Saturday morning. I was actually watching it in the mornings back home since they show reruns in the wee hours of the morning. I miss TV. I got a mani-pedi yesterday and they had a TV and my eyes were glued to it the ENTIRE time. They probably thought I was nuts. I felt like I had never seen such a novel contraption in my life.

So things here are insanely busy. We have class from 7:00am-4:30pm. Then after that I am supposed to be reviewing the notes for the day, going over the applicable sections in First Aid, do one hour of pharmacology, one hour of "drilling" (lightening fast questioning over anything and everything to make sure we know the material), and 50 QBank questions every night. I have yet to finish an entire day's worth of stuff. I am so behind ...

On a positive note - I have been very good about going to the gym and working out every morning at 5. I have also given up caffeine. Interesting combination, I know, but I am feeling amazing. If only I can get my act into gear for boards stuff.

I had a mini-mental breakdown early last week. I was in tutoring (we get 2-3 one-hour sessions each week with tutors who help us with test taking technique) and at the end he was like, "I'm going to be honest with you. You need to work on your knowledge base because we can't help you if you're not bringing anything into the session." I felt like such an idiot. Mostly because he's right. I feel like I've forgotten everything that I've learned, and the stuff I'm learning recently, I can't seem to keep in my head. For instance ... heart murmurs. I learned them in Cardio during 2nd year, I re-learned them for POM during Cardio, I reviewed them for the POM final a few months ago. We did cardio our first week here, I reviewed the notes, and I drilled with someone over them, and I STILL can't remember them off the top of my head. It's so damn frustrating. It makes me not want to study - I'm going to forget it all anyway, so what does it matter?

I had a different tutor on Friday and we went through Renal which was my worst subject. My average on that section was 25%. We did 12 questions and I only got ONE wrong. I was like OMG!! I'm not an idiot. So I've requested him to be my tutor from now on. I figure it will be easier if I have only one person.

Other than that, nothing much is happening here. I have been boy watching though. There is a young version if Ethan Hawke here. He's a cutie. There is a guy here named Audi (like the car) that I am really feeling. He's nice, speaks FOUR languages, and he finished medical school in 1999 and went home to start a business and now he's back getting accredited. And then there is a boy who goes to school with me that is here that I'm beginning to see in a different light. Oh, and remember the guy who I have seen like 2 or 3 times that flaked out on a gambling trip with me because he started dating someone? Yeah, they broke up, so guess who has been calling me every night this week. This is SO NOT the time to be dealing with boys...

I hope everyone is well and I will try to do better with keeping updated on what everyone else is up to! :)

My New Home

2007-06-03T14:15:00.000-05:00

So I am going to be here in Savoy, IL for the next 6 1/2 weeks. They are putting us up in an apartment complex about 5 miles from the lecture center. We're all in 3 bedroom suites. This is a pic of my room from the desk (courtesy of my fab webcam). They gave us sheets and blankets and such. I wasn't going to use them, but they're all brand new, straight out of the wrapper, and since I was going to buy new ones anyway, I figured why not? The plaid is a little out there though. I think I brought a little country with me form Texas.

I need to go unpack and get my stuff together because I have to go shopping for just about everything. Apparently someone requested everyone from my school room together, so I already know one of the girls in my room, and I think I know the third one, but she hasn't shown up yet.

This should be interesting. Last time I went on a six week prep program was in college. I went to UVA to prep for the MCAT. There was so much drama it was unreal, but I made some great friends and I still keep in touch with lots of them. I did well on the MCAT (I made it into medical school didn't I?) and I lost like 20 pounds. I'm thinking about getting NutriSystem while I'm here. After not cooking for myself for two years, it sounds a lot easier to get pre-packaged food, that way there is no shopping, cooking, cleaning, fixing, putting in containers, etc.

Road Trip, Day 1

2007-06-02T22:53:00.000-05:00

I'm in a hotel in Charleston, MO. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep.

My exam yesterday was a bit rougher than I would have liked. I definitely got more questions right than the first go round, but there were still some questions that I was like, What the ... ? There was one question in particular I found extremely surprising. It was something to the effect of "Prednisone can be used to treat eosinophilia. What is the mechanism for this?" My first reaction was You can treat eosinophilia with predniose? No shit? That wasn't an answer option.

I bought my new phone, which I absolutely adore. It is taking some getting used to, but I am enjoying it so far.

I had a friend stop by last night to say good-bye. He has been such a sweetheart since I met him, and he was also a repeating student (though he was originally class of '08) but he and I did a lot of work together at the frat while he was house manager. He ended up failing two classes, and if you fail four classes during school, you're kicked out. He is moving out while I am in IL so he came by with some beer and we hung out and talked for a few hours. He didn't end up leaving until 1:00 a.m. and I didn't get in bed until 2. He ended up waking me up at 6:30 and I was on the road by 7:00.

We had some adventures today, but it was a lot of fun. Tomorrow we only have 4 hours left and we will be in Champaign and settling in. Wish me luck that I don't kill us tomorrow, we had some close calls today. ;)

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Anyone want postcards from IL? C'mon, don't be shy, you know you want one!

Exam Tomorrow

2007-05-31T16:05:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I take my remediation exam. I think I'm ready. I hopeI'm ready. I feel like I know more and understand more about everything, and since I barely failed, I should at least pass. I just have pre-exam butterflies.

Since most of you know I have a spending problem (if you didn't kow, surprise! I'm a shop-a-holic. I have been wanting a new phone since I got the one I have last Christmas. I only got it because I didn't care what phone I had at that point, and my other phone (blasted Razr's suck!!) kept messing up, I just bought a cheap one. There is a phone that I ADORE that I have been wanting since I saw it.

I love this phone, because it flips two ways - like a regular clam-shell style cell and like the enV. I LOVE the gold on it - glittery and flashy. I'm not a real big fan of gold, and when I first saw it I thought "ghe-tto" but then when I actually held it in my hands, I fell in love. Since I have been studying 10-12 hours a day lately, I am treating myself to a new phone.

I am leaving for Illinois on Saturday morning, but don't fear, I will have my computer with me. However, this is like Boards Boot Camp, so I'm not sure how much time I'll have, but I promise to keep in touch! :) OK, study break over. Bah! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.

Field Sobriety Tests. Country Music. Lost Phones.

2007-05-27T11:04:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday I went to a free event called A Day In The Country. It is a huge production out on a ranch somewhere in the Middle Of Nowhere, TX (no, this is not a real place, do not look it up on Google images) and they have rides, food, games, and entertainment.

So my friend B (I hate making up names for people, I’ll just forget them, so I’ll just go with initials), so B and I went to K’s house Friday night to hang out and spend the night, and we’d all leave from her place the next day since she is closer to MON, TX. Friday night we went to Kemah with B, K, K’s hubby, and their kid. It was totally fun. Friday nights are Kids Night and they put up this huge movie screen and play movies. So we sat out and had dinner and ice cream and watched Cars. When we got back, we played some cards and then went to bed so we could be up early to head out.

I woke up around 6 because I’m thinking three girls getting ready will take awhile, and we have to be there before 11 (11 is when the gates open). Around 10 they inform me that we are going to leave around 2 since the early acts are no one we know and they didn’t want to be in the sun all day, especially since we were taking K’s baby. O-k ya could have told me that earlier. We end up waiting like over an hour for K to pick out some shorts and a shirt to wear. If I had known it was going to take so long, I would have picked up some yarn to knit a blanket. So we finally left around 2 or so. That is a complete guess-timate and could (and probably is) completely wrong, but by then I was brain dead and I barely remember that part of the day.

We end up driving for about an hour and a half. We turn down this road with wicked traffic and we sit in bumper to bumper traffic waiting to get to the parking area for about an hour and then, WHAM! We get rear-ended. At first the girl who was driving was trying to tell us she didn’t hit us, but then we pointed out her license plate impression in the bumper of the vehicle. So she gave in and said maybe she had hit us. I'm thinking, I can tell you your license plate Don't Say A Word style, and you're saying maybe? Then she asks us to let her write us a check because the girl in the backseat is 19 and drunk. As we were talking to her, B was already flagging down a cop. Oops. So we spent another two hours waiting for the cops to show up (the guy who stopped was off duty and just helping out) and we got to watch them do field sobriety tests and all that fun stuff. It turns out the other two girls were both 18 and one was high and the other was drunk. One cop was being a total dick and ended up searching the car and found an almost empty bottle of Bacardi and he threw it on the seat and yelled at one of the girls to get over here and put her in handcuffs and shoved her in the police car. Very dramatic. Very “Cops”-esque. I would imagine, I’ve never actually watched the show.

We finally got to leave after filling out statements and we get to the event in time to catch the end of Tracy Byrd. We walked around a bit, got some drinks, and got in line for food. K wanted some fries and they were backed up, so I said I’d wait in line for her so she could get the baby a bottle. So while I was standing there, I was trying to get closer so the lady behind the booth would see me waving frantically at her so I could order K a corndog. So I ACCIDENTALLY bump the side of my hip into the side of this guy’s ass, because he’s leaning on the counter waiting for his order and his ass is sticking out farther than J. Lo’s (yes, I know, lame joke, but you get the idea). So he looks at me, startled (as he should be) and I apologized, but he leaned to his friend and whispered something and then his friend looks over and goes back and nods and whispers back. I decided to just ignore the two little boys talking about me (they were actually like 14 or something, but still scrawny and completely non-attractive). So a little later a woman hit me with her stroller and I ACCIDENTALLY hit him again and this time he didn’t look but his friend did, and I apologized again, stumbling through an apology and lame explanation of how I was hit from behind. Yeah, well, I got more whispers and looks from both of them. So by now I’m feeling like a pedophile and needing to get out of there, but thankfully they got my order and I ran to safety.

We saw one act, Jo Dee Messina, and then went home. Lucky for me, I sat in the backseat. K decided today was the day to change out the baby’s car seat, so the baby was NOT happy. I felt bad for the kid that she was tired and wanted to sleep, but so did I, and she screamed and cried the ENTIRE way home. I was ready to pull out my hair. K and B were in the front talking to each other, so I resigned myself to texting anyone and everyone who was awake who would keep my mind off of my eardrums that were slowly and agonizingly painfully splitting.

We left for home once we got back. I am extremely thankful that B didn’t fight me on that, but I think we both needed to distance ourselves from said little people. I was so glad to sink into my nice, comfortable, familiar bed … Until I woke up freaking out that I didn’t have my phone with me. I have a very strange, and possibly inappropriate, relationship with my phone. I must have it near me. Even if I don’t need to make calls or I don’t want to talk to anyone, I MUST have it within arm’s length. Well, it turns out I didn’t have it. Not in my car, my room, my bag, my jeans, nowhere.

I had lost it! My poor little phone. But don't despair. I got it the next day, hours after K had found it and didn't call B to let her know even though we had been calling and text messaging ALL day Sunday. Some people are just not all there, ya know? Anyway I have my phone safe and sound. Thankfully.

Galveston, TX

2007-05-24T09:40:00.001-05:00

So this one is for Jules ... I thought everyone here knew I lived on the beach in South Texas, but apparently that was just my imagination. So I decided to give you guys a little peek into where I live. It's a fairly small island, only about 60,000 people, and we're about an hour away from Houston, TX (I'm sure ya'll have heard of that one). It's mainly just the beach and UTMB. UTMB has four schools - School of Medicine (yay!), School of Nursing, School of Allied Health Sciences, and Graduate School of Biomedical Sciences. According to the website...

Established in 1891 as the University of Texas Medical Department, UTMB has grown from one building, 23 students and 13 faculty members to a modern health science center with more than 70 major buildings, more than 2,500 students and more than 1,000 faculty. The 84-acre campus includes four schools, three institutes for advanced study, a major medical library, a network of hospitals and clinics that provide a full range of primary and specialized medical care, an affiliated Shriners Burns Hospital, and numerous research facilities. UTMB is a component of the University of Texas System.

Other than UTMB, Galveston is pretty tourist-y, lots of beaches and hotels and such. It's a pretty laid back place to live. I wish I went to the beach more, but Gulf of Mexico water isn't very pretty since we get all the silt from the Mississippi River. It's tourist season right now, so the traffic is crazy and all the restaurants have 3 hours waits, so I tend to be a hermit and hide from April to November. =)

This is my favorite building on campus. It's the Ashbel Smith Building, but we call it "Old Red." (This next part was taken shamelessly from UTMB's blog...)Old Red was completed in 1890 as the home of the University of Texas Medical Department. The Medical Department, housed entirely in the new building, opened for its first session on Oct. 5, 1891, with 23 students and 13 faculty. It is one of the few original buildings built back in 1806 when the medical school first opened. During the Great Storm of 1908, there was major damage, but it was saved (yay!) and it's the only original building left standing. It's for 4 floors, and the Gross Anatomy lab is on the top floor. (For a more in depth story of Old Red, click here.)

That pretty much sums up G-town or Galvatraz as it's more commonly called. Hope you enjoyed! If anyone plans on making a trip down here, let me know. Drinks are on me! :)

Microwaved Baby - True Story

2007-05-24T09:33:00.000-05:00

So I'm not one to keep up to date on current events, I'm so far removed from what's going on in the world, it's scary, but every now and then I get a whiff of a story that my friends feel obligated to inform me about.

A guy here in town actually put his baby in the microwave! What kind of crazy shit is that?!? I thought they were kidding until I looked it up. It's true (read about it here). Luckily, Shriner's here at UTMB is the top burn hospital in the world and she is getting excellent care, but it's stories like these that make me afraid to ever have kids. What kind of people are living in today's world? It's downright horrific to think that someone, especially the child's FATHER, could do something that awful to his own child.

I wish I could write something more poetic or judgmental here, but I just can't think about it anymore.

I'll Write More Soon

2007-05-23T07:40:00.000-05:00

I know I need to write SOMETHING, especially since there is nothing here yet except my lil blurb there, but I have been crazy busy lately with studying and just life in general. I'll write more soon, I promise!! =)

New Name, New Address x2

2007-05-16T16:23:00.000-05:00

I've done this once already, and within FIVE FREAKIN MINUTES Billy found me. (Dude, you should be a detective or something. If you find me again, I give.)

So like I said before, it seems more people were reading my old blog than I realized, mostly people from school that I didn't want reading some of that personal stuff I was writing, so I decided to just trash the old one and start over. It must sound so strange, but I feel more comfortable opening up here when I know that people here aren't able to have access to it.

Let's hope this one is a little less traceable.